HYDERABAD: It’s that time of the year when Spotify justifies the premium you paid them by making a PPT of all the songs you listened to. Swiggy will fat-shame the entire city by revealing how many megatons of biryani we gulped down, and we all apply the same trend analysis to our lives, only to end up with regret and shame.
Here’s your 2024 recap:
January
The year, as always, began with us imagining ourselves on the cover of Time magazine. Two weeks later, reality hit, and we realised we were better suited for the cover of ‘Time Pass’ magazine. Sankranti rolled in, and Andhraites from Hyderabad went back home. The rest of us enjoyed three glorious days of zero traffic, secretly wishing they never returned.
February
The month of love was a mixed bag. Those in fresh relationships were all starry-eyed, while couples in older ones were riddled with anxiety: Should they buy an expensive gift? Plan a getaway? Or just break up? Single guys, meanwhile, celebrated February’s brevity because it meant an earlier payday.
March
This March felt like a celebration. The IPL and haleem made a grand entrance, and as always, haleem hit the spot. To our surprise, SRH didn’t disappoint either. And the best part? The heat wasn’t unbearable! It was shaping up to be the best March ever… and then, just as we were ready to call it a win, Nirmala Sitharaman showed up and taxed us nicely!
April
April is when Hyderabad collectively calls AC repair guys. We also issued ominous warnings to each other — “If it’s this hot in April, imagine May!” Spoiler alert: We were right.
May
May turned up the heat, both literally and politically. Elections had us debating everything, from manifestos to memes. Some of us voted while judging those who didn’t, and all of us watched nail-biting results, imagining Rahul Gandhi as PM for exactly 2.5 seconds before reality yanked us back.
June
Rain or no rain, nobody cared because we won the cricket World Cup. June was officially rebranded as the ‘Month of Victory.’ Every brilliant play from the Indian team is now tattooed in our minds.
July
It rained cats, dogs, and maybe crocodiles. Roads dissolved, ACs went off, and promotions (or the lack thereof) turned friends into frenemies. If you didn’t fall into a pothole this July, did you even live?
August
August came with its own water park — the roads. But even floods couldn’t stop HYDRAA from making a splash at the Nagarjuna Convention Centre. I guess not everyone enjoyed the movie Mass. On the brighter side, we stretched our patriotism beyond August 15, thanks to Neeraj Chopra and the squad bringing home medals.
September
The most devotional month of the year in Hyderabad. No jokes here.
October
The “Oh no, only three months left!” realisation hit hard and I guess the same thought hit GHMC too as they got serious, raiding our favourite restaurants and revealing their secret recipe — cigarette butts and insects. On the bright side, it was a great way to enforce calorie control.
November
We were finally getting serious about life when Diwali happened. Out went our focus, in came parties, sweets, and amazing weather. Discounts were everywhere — Black Friday in Hyderabad was a thing now. Why can’t every month be like November?
December
And now here we are, reflecting on the year with a mix of confusion and dread. How did this year, which was supposed to be the one, turn into this? Then Oxford gave us the word of the year — “Brain Rot”— and we thought, “Wow, someone finally gets us.”
Happy New Year. More jokes next year.
(The writer’s views are his own)