HYDERABAD: My seventh grade-Environmental Science book said there are five types of pollution — air, water, land, noise, and light. Now, as long as humans are breathing and making sure that breath reaches the office on time, we can never do anything about air pollution.
Either our lungs will evolve into air filters, or some genius will start selling lung implants in a “Buy 2, get 2 free” combo with breasts. Water and land pollution don’t even make headlines. Forget headlines. We know air pollution is measured by AQI, but how are water and land pollution measured?
Only Sadhguru knows, since he claims to have fixed it all during his rally for rivers.
We’re actually fine with noise pollution, to be honest. Most of us are so busy trying to mute our violent inner voices that a truck honking loudly feels like music to our ears — literally!
And then there’s light pollution — one form of pollution we could fix in seconds by pressing an off button. I thought Lit AF was a concept that existed only in the comments sections of GenZs instagram accounts until I passed by a few buildings in Hyderabad. Since there is no regulation around the brightness of the lights, many buildings in the IT offices zone look like lighthouses trying to help an imaginary ship navigate. And if you pass by hitech city, it feels like lighthouses are for sale.
They say a city never sleeps. That’s because it never turns off its lights.
Sure, let’s agree we need streetlights, traffic signals, and basic illumination so Edison’s hard work doesn’t go to waste. But explain this — why does Junaid’s Tuition Center in Mehdipatnam have lights so bright that it feels like God himself is teaching inter-second-year chemistry? And why is Deloitte’s building glowing like it is Diwali everyday? Most of their employees are working from home, and even if they weren’t, shouldn’t the lights inside be on? These lights do nothing but mark territory in the air so that clients visiting the office from the USA can see the office from the plane itself.
Malls shut at 11 pm but their lights stay on all night. Why? So that owls and bats can do a little window shopping?
There’s an over-lit juice shop next to the club where I perform regularly, and trust me, more guys have asked the juice shop owner if stag entry is allowed than they’ve asked the actual club bouncer.
There is a pharmacy in Banjara hills that blinds you with its sign board so much you have no option but to walk into the pharmacy and buy some eye drops.
I could also give you real reasons to care about light pollution — sleep disorders, wildlife confusion, wasted energy — but let’s be honest, no one’s paying attention until Netflix makes a documentary about it (they actually did but we don’t care).
Why can these guys just do what we do at home — the last one switches off the lights. It’s not a NASA mission; it’s a switch. Our phones have dark modes, so why can’t buildings?
And office buildings? Let’s be real — if your only visitors are employees, stop glowing. Who are you trying to guide — the Zomato guy? He’s got GPS.
I understand air pollution is trending but I’m sure light pollution will be in the news one day. That day I want to be the guy who said I told you so.
(The writer’s views are his own)