Last week I went to watch the horror movie Obsession, and this is how it became a comedy for me.
My cousin booked two tickets for Obsession at the Allu Cinemas in Kokapet. Generally, when it comes to movies, they say keep your expectations low. But I raised mine because Obsession was the talk of the town, and my friend specially told me, ‘Sandesh, you definitely have to watch it’.
Anyways, I entered the theatre. Also, this was my first-ever horror movie in a theatre. So I was excited to get scared at the age where generally only the future is scary.
They did an opening warm-up scare act, ie, the quit tobacco ad. I mean, watching damaged lungs on such a big screen scares you for sure. In fact, you could tell who the smokers were just by seeing whose eyes were covered by their palms.
Anyways, the movie started.
And in the very first scene, someone shouted from the back, ‘Subtitles leva ra?’
After that, what began behind me was a triathlon of translation, interpretation, and critique of this movie, along with the movie.
Then began the commentary.
There were five people sitting behind me. Only one of them kind of knew what was happening, or at least he looked like he did, so he started explaining everything.
They were a young crowd living every moment, so that guy explained every moment — like how Netflix does it for blind people.
He explained things that didn’t need explaining.
‘Mama, she has another lover also anta’.
Later, the guy started judging the movie, and instead of translating, he got angry at what was happening on screen.
I really wanted to tell him, ‘Bro, it’s fiction. Relax. I’m sure this won’t happen to you. For such an obsession to happen in India, you don’t need black magic, you need black money’.
Now, 30-40 minutes into the movie, this gang got bored.
They hated the movie.
So they started doing their own dubbing.
As an appreciator of humour, I was enjoying that. But my cousin looked at me with a look that said, ‘Are you with them or with me?’
Now post-interval is where the movie gets really serious, and these guys’ humour peaked.
‘Your girlfriend is also like that re’.
‘Why don’t we take a selfie?’
‘You didn’t tag me in the story.’
Anyways, now I was also done with the humour.
So I stood up and shushed them.
I told them, ‘Hey, you’re disturbing me’.
I was scared because this kind of situation has a one-in-five chance of ending up in a physical fight.
But to my surprise, they looked at each other and laughed again.
‘Hey, we are disturbing him anta!’
Then I gave up.
I had come to have a good time, so I enjoyed whatever they said.
And also a little jealous.
How come I never laugh like that with my gang anymore over stupid things?
But if anyone asks me how Obsession was, I’d say it was better than the last Adam Sandler movie for sure.
I can never get scared now.
I will either have to lose my memory or take a rebirth to enjoy a really good scary movie like this in a theatre.
Sandesh
@msgfromsandesh
(This comedian is here to tell funny stories about Hyderabad)
(The writer’s views are his own)
