Do we deserve good infrastructure? Or should governments only build things ugly enough that we use them correctly? This question first struck me while crossing the Durgam Cheruvu Bridge. Which may be the finest example of a bridge failing successfully at being a bridge. A bridge, according to most engineering textbooks, is a structure built to connect two separated land masses. A bridge, according to Hyderabad: a structure where you take photos and connect to the online masses.
Do we deserve good infrastructure? Or should governments only build things ugly enough that we use them correctly? This question first struck me while crossing the Durgam Cheruvu Bridge. Which may be the finest example of a bridge failing successfully at being a bridge. A bridge, according to most engineering textbooks, is a structure built to connect two separated land masses. A bridge, according to Hyderabad: a structure where you take photos and connect to the online masses.
I cannot believe the conversations that lead to this. “What do we eat?” “Biryani.” “And after?” “The bridge.” Sir. You live in Hyderabad. A city with forts, lakes, old bazaars, an entire historical district. And the plan is to go stand on a road. Why do you hate your guests? The authorities have tried everything. Signs. Announcements. Whistles. Sirens. Megaphones. All useless. Then came the lathis, which only made things worse because people started filming their friends getting chased and uploading it. Police enforcement accidentally became content collaborators. Then there was a death on the bridge because someone stopped for photos. I genuinely thought that would change things. The very next day the traffic seemed to double. At this point I think the bridge is cursed and people are drawn to it against their will like a moth to a very photogenic flame. Now the cops just drive up and ram into vehicles. No warning. Just bump. Which honestly I support fully. All modes of formal communication have been exhausted anyways. Car guys are worse than bike guys, for the record. Bike guys are annoying but at least they are efficient. One selfie. Maybe two. Gone. Car guys need one photo each, one group photo, one with the car, one facing the lake, one for insta, two for the story, and a full minute of video just in case. Meanwhile everyone behind them is slowly losing years off their life.
So my sincere request to the government: please never build another beautiful flyover. Make the next one grey. Make it sad. Make it look like it was designed on a government computer running Windows XP. Make people want to cross it as fast as possible and never think about it again.
Because clearly, beauty is a public safety hazard in this city.
Sandesh
@msgfromsandesh
(This comedian is here to tell funny stories about Hyderabad)
(The writer’s views are his own)
