KOCHI: Whiny tots at cinemas are now at the centre of an online debate over parents taking their little ones to film theatres. Nuisance, say some. Intolerance, argue others. There, however, is no denying that crying or tantrum-throwing children leave many people in the audience irked. But, parents desperately wanting a ‘filmy outing’ have no choice but to take their kids along, especially if there is no one to babysit them.
This discussion was sparked by a recent social media post by journalist and mother Anagha Jayan. “If anyone asks me if the crying children are a nuisance inside a cinema hall, I would answer yes,” she writes. “Last night, when some children were crying in between a film screening, the parents were trying to pacify them by playing YouTube videos... I felt like asking them to exit the hall. I am also a mother but I was determined to take her to a theatre only when she is mature enough to sit quietly and watch the film or sleep after having the snacks.”
Anagha adds, that, despite being a passionate film buff, she avoided going to the cinemas for the past four years, as she was taking care of her baby. “I don’t feel it bad to tell those parents who linger in their seats with a weeping kid to kindly move out,” she writes. “Also, it is cruel towards innocent toddlers who naturally get disturbed inside the dark room with loud noises.”
Filmmaker Vignesh Rajashob, 32, agrees, but quickly points out that wailing children should not be viewed as a nuisance. “The parents are to blame,” he says. “Also, there are many grown-ups who turn out to be a real nuisance — like those who chat or speak loudly on mobile phones.”
Vignesh gives a thumbs-up to Thiruvananthapuram’s Kairali-Sree-Nila cinema complex, which has a ‘cry room’ within screening halls. “Parents with babies can watch films separately, without disturbing others,” he adds. “Perhaps, more theatres could include such facilities.”
Thiruvananthapuram-based techie and parent S Suryajith believes the ideal age to start taking children to film theatres is five years. “Of late, many viewers are pretty passionate about films, and pay attention to minor details,” he notes. “It is natural for such a crowd to get annoyed when a cranky child cries or throws tantrums.”
Suryajith, too, says there are adults who cause a bigger nuisance. “For instance, there are killjoys who spill out climax spoilers loudly,” he says. “Then, of course, people who use their mobile phones.”
Such unpleasant experiences may make people wait for the OTT release of films. “I have set up a home theatre,” he adds. “I hit the cinemas only when there big-bang releases such as the upcoming Avatar 2.”
Kochi-based radio jockey Vinaya Fenn agrees with Suryajith on getting annoyed. “Recently, while watching a film, a toddler started wailing just as the climax was nearing,” she says. “That was enough to ruin my experience. No matter how much one loves kids, a fussy child near you in a theatre could be frustrating.”
Vinaya adds she gets equally irritated when some parents switch on the mobile phone to keep children engaged in the theatre. “Even if the audio is muted, people who are sitting nearby get disturbed by the video,” she says.
A young working mother based in the capital city, Ayesha Thanzee, says there is nothing wrong in saying crying children are “show-spoilers”. Like table manners, she adds, people have to follow some “cinema etiquette”, too.
“Unfortunately, not everyone can afford to set up home theatres,” adds Ayesha. “I have a two-year-old daughter. I became nervous while taking her for a film recently. Thankfully, she did not cry. Usually, my husband watches the film alone first. Later, we go for it together, with the baby. So, if she cries, he will pacify her at the lounge.”
Kochi-based media professional Vishnu Muraleedharan empathises with parents who can’t leave their children at home. “If a child cries or turns unruly, it is not just the audience who get bugged. In most cases, one of the parents goes out. Sometimes the family just leaves.”
He also adds that there are scenes where “silence plays a crucial role”, and a slight noise could ruin the experience. Well, it is not just about babies, says Sheetal (name changed), a content writer in Kochi. “Toddlers, and some even above the age of three, can be troublesome,” she says. “I, too, am a mother, so I know. It’s the age when children would want to run around, explore surroundings. Being restrained in a closed space could be hard for them. I’ve had experiences of kids let loose by their parents running around during film screenings.”
Sheetal believes some parents take it for granted that others, especially other parents, would understand their situation. “They probably think it’s okay to be disturbed. Well, unfortunately, it’s not okay,” she adds. A colleague and mother of two, however, believes it is unfair to say children should not be taken for films. “They would learn how to behave in such public places only through exposure,” she says.
Sheetal disagrees. “A toddler is not going to understand social norms unless they start going to school, such etiquette is hard to process at this young age,” she says. Yes, it may be unfair to curb them. But it is even more unfair to disturb someone’s film outing, especially someone who has a paid a good amount of money for the experience.” Kochi based homemaker Parvathi Vishnu, a mother of two, says she started theatre-training her children with trials at home first, and later films of their choice, such as animation or comic ones. “We book tickets according to our child’s schedule. That helps,” she adds. “Going to theatres is just a monthly activity for us.”
Parents, watch out
While taking children to the cinemas, parents should keep in mind the little ones’ health of sensory glands, says Dr Mohan Roy, consultant psychiatrist at Government Medical College,
Thiruvananthapuram. “High-decibel sound systems and bright visuals can affect their sensory organs.
Thus, it is obvious that they would cry,” he explains.
“If watching horror or violent films, they may get traumatised, too. I have attended to patients with such issues.” The parents’ passion for films should not impact the child’s health, he stresses.
“Also, in OTT platforms, there are grading of films to be watched according to age-groups. In theatres, there is not. Watching violence or, say, body-shaming visuals with loud noises at a young age would affect their mindset, too,” says Mohan.
“Sometimes, young parents can be heard saying their child watched a film without crying. They should understand it may be due to the numbing effect, not due to enjoyment.”
Founder of Kochi-based Counselling Cafe, Greeshma Natraj, says it is best to avoid taking infants or toddlers to films with explicit content. “Violent content can hamper brain development,” says the psychologist. Loud sounds, too, can have an impact on children. “They sleep, dream a lot. A sudden loud sound can cause a jerk, and that could instil fear in them.”