A young man’s digital life is overflowing, but his real-life connections are missing. He has got thousands of online followers and plenty of people to chat with, but when he needed someone to talk to about his personal struggles, there was no one.
He shared his distress online, got likes and shares, but no one asked how he was really doing. Feeling lonely and isolated, he attempted to take his own life. Was he a victim of emotional loneliness in real life, despite being digitally connected?
At the same time, an elderly widow living alone can also be vulnerable to social loneliness if she doesn’t prioritise real-life connections.
When youngsters in the family migrate, the lack of socialisation can be a breeding ground for loneliness, making the elderly more susceptible to depression. Many elderly people experience social loneliness, feeling excluded, without anyone to share activities with.
Mental health professionals often encounter individuals who, despite outward success, fall prey to loneliness and depression. Their relentless pursuit of success comes at the cost of emotional connection and social bonding, leaving them unaware of the void they have created.
In moments of despair, they are left with no one to turn to, feeling isolated despite their material wealth. The suicides of seemingly successful individuals often reveal underlying struggles with loneliness.
A REALITY
Yes, loneliness is a reality. Some countries have even considered a ministry to address the issue!
A systematic review found a 41 per cent pooled prevalence of loneliness across India, with higher rates among the elderly. Older adults report severe loneliness, especially when living alone, after the loss of a spouse, or shrinking social networks.
Loneliness is also linked to depression, cognitive decline, and increased mortality rates. Social media often becomes a hindrance to fostering real connections. Rapid urbanisation, weakening family ties, and digital isolation are among the major contributors.
While it is rapidly rising, this epidemic of loneliness has not received the attention that it deserves.
HOW TO FIGHT IT
Recognise when you feel like you are missing meaningful connections with others. Maybe there is a persistent feeling of not quite fitting in or feeling understood, even when surrounded by people. You might feel worried about the absence of deep, genuine relationships. If this sounds familiar, it’s likely you are experiencing loneliness and are ready to fight it.
Identify the feeling of sadness and despair associated with loneliness and try to label those emotions. These emotions aggravate the mood of being left out or disconnected.
Surely there is a package of negative thoughts tagged with loneliness. You may feel worthless or not lovable enough to be inducted into the mainstream of human connections. Identify those thoughts.
Do not drown yourself in the negativity. Instead, develop an attitude to open up feelings and thoughts. Emotions can be cooled down with relaxation techniques. Negative thoughts can be challenged and changed.
Once effectively done, you can see islands of human connectivity emerging. Many times, it is the negative feelings and thoughts that shrink the social space. Loneliness, in many instances, is a prison created by one’s own mind unknowingly.
Once the mists of loneliness fade, make baby steps to connect. One can venture out to small groups and be a listener, or one can text or phone a friend. Even the time spent in voluntary social service or with a pet may work like magic.
You may not find the expected warmth initially. But ensure that you don’t blame yourself. Instead, try alternatives.
Remember that you can still be cheerful with activities you enjoy. Human contacts will gravitate to the happy ones slowly. What matters is how one approaches loneliness.
THE DAMAGES
Loneliness is about feeling isolated, not just being alone. Chronic loneliness can trigger stress, increase inflammation, and raise chronic disease risks. Mental health issues like depression are more likely, and people with depression also often experience loneliness.
Do not desperately cling to unhealthy coping mechanisms. Avoid:
Substance or alcohol abuse
Overeating or self-harm
Isolating further or pushing people away
Relying on superficial online interactions due to fear of missing out
A lifestyle prioritising proactive social connection lays the groundwork for preventing loneliness. A few quality relationships can be more effective than numerous superficial ones. Be mindful of the tendency to drift away from warm human connections. Stay connected.