What is the best way of child-rearing? How do I make my child successful and contented in their life? How do I give a perfect life for my child? Or am I the one my child deserves? These are some often-asked and often-unanswered questions by most of the concerned parents.
Amar Rajan, a psychologist and a Cambridge A-level teacher, has been answering all the queries and concerns of parenting for the last few years as part of an ‘effective parenting’ programme by the Trivandrum International School.
“There are different parenting styles, four mainly: authoritarian, permissive, authoritative and uninvolved. The style of child-rearing of each parent is found through a psychometric test. And then we aim at enhancing their style,” he says.
The style of child-rearing defines the relationship between the child and the parent, according to Amar. For instance, a child grown up in an ‘uninvolved parenting’ style seems more detached to their parents. In uninvolved parenting, a style observed in mostly NRI parents, the parents fulfill the child’s needs and wants but are low-responsive and have little communication with their child.
Permissive parents, another kind, have very few demands to their kids. The rarely imply discipline on their child as they think they themselves do not follow any such rules. Contrary to this, authoritarian parents are fond of drawing lines and expect their children to follow the rules they establish. They use punishments as prevention to the child’s failure of following the rules. Another parenting style, authoritative, is the most democratic in the group. In this, the parents listen to the questions of the child.
The worst thing that happens in authoritarian parenting style is the failure to reason with the kids, points out Amar. The answer limits into an unsatisfactory “because I said so”, which causes further problems.
Children, according to Amar, are fond of having a security feeling, emotional backing, autonomy and an independent feeling. They expect the same treatment from their schools also. The effective parenting programme aims at easing out the parents and bringing the child and parent into one page.
The school has been conducting this programme for many years as part of ensuring a holistic approach towards kids. The programme is conducted right from early learning levels to senior levels. A seminar was also conducted by Amar Rajan on this regard at Trivandrum Club here on Sunday. Around 150 parents of students from different classes of the school participated in the seminar.
