Someone, probably Oscar Wilde or George Bernard Shaw, once said that Britain and USA were “two nations divided by a common language”. Growing up teachers told us that we followed British spellings and pronunciations rather than American ones. Words like ‘colour’ and ‘neighbour’ always had a ‘u’ in them, while ‘patronising’ and ‘economise’ used ‘s’ instead of ‘z’.
Even as I write these words, my computer has provided them with little red squiggles. I’m too lazy, it seems, to change the settings so that I’m writing in UK rather than American-English; yet am willing to put up with the constant harassment of America-made spell checkers and (shudder) autocorrect, just so that I can be saved from the ignominy of someday writing the word “realize”.
In too many people, there’s an unquestioned acceptance that British English is superior to American English. Perhaps it’s because we learnt it from the British; or perhaps since the British (mostly) invented the language we bow to their authority.
Then there are people who insist that the British usages are stuffy and prefer the American versions instead. These are the “youngsters” of whom the sort of people who write letters to the editor (the only people ever to use the term “youngsters”) complain that they have become “Americanised”. In speech it’s easy enough to avoid being classified as English- or American-influenced. You need to avoid such words as “kid” (baby goat or baby child?), but that is easy enough to do.
But then there will come a word that will trip you up. Like “arse”.“Arse” has a long and noble history. It comes to us from the German (arsch, or buttock), through Old English (aers, tail or rump) and is probably related to the Greek orros, meaning rump or base of the spine. Plus it sounds good, with its long-drawn-out “a” sound.
“Ass” means a donkey or beast of burden, and was generally associated with clumsiness and stupidity. Its use as a synonym for “arse” can only be traced back to the 19th Century (presumably people had noticed the similarity in the words before — consider the fate of Bottom the Weaver in A Midsummer Night’s Dream). “Ass” was used by Americans, and was one of a number of words in which the “rs” sound was turned into “s” — for example, “burst” became “bust”. “Ass” has come to be used by even those people who spell grey with an “e” and colour with a “u”. Personally I prefer the sound of “arse”, and continue to use it. But I am inconsistent when it comes to variations on the word.
For example, “arsehole” is at least as pleasing phonetically as “asshole”. It doesn’t really matter which you use there. But what about the wonderfully creative “asshat” or “asshattery” (or very occasionally “asshaberdashery”)? These words clearly need “ass” to work — “arse” just wouldn’t cut it. I suppose what it comes down to is that British and American English have both come to influence us equally. We are individuals divided within ourselves by this supposedly common language, and we will probably always be inconsistent.
— bluelullaby@gmail.com