CHENNAI: Here is an interesting query from a reader: What is the original meaning of the term ‘condolence’? Does it have a plural form? Which are the words that go with the word ‘condolence’? What are the different ways of expressing one’s condolence? This query reached my inbox a week after my mother’s death. I received different types of condolence messages. One of the messages had these beautiful words of an unknown poet: “If I could reach up and hold a star for every time you’ve made me smile, the entire evening sky would be in the palm of my hand. Be proud of your mom and thank God for all the smiles.” The message comforted me and made me forget my sadness. It was an apt condolence message, indeed!
The word ‘condolence’ comes from Latin which means ‘to suffer together’. In English it means ‘sympathy for the family of a person who has recently died’. The plural form of the word is commonly used in condolence messages. The singular form is very rarely used. The word collocates with the following:
• Adjectives: deep/heartfelt/sincere condolences
• Nouns: condolence message/card/book/quotes
• Verbs: convey/express/extend/whisper/give (someone)/offer (someone)/accept my heartfelt condolences
The expression ‘deepest condolences’ is very common in Indian English but not in British English. Here are the examples of how the word ‘condolences’ collocates with other words:
1. Our heartfelt condolences go out to John’s family.
2. Please accept my sincere condolences.
3. We have brought to your family our parents’ deep condolences on the sudden death of Mary.
4. Peter telephoned his manager to offer his condolences.
5. ‘I have presented the Chancellor’s condolences to his widow.’
6. We express our sincere condolences to the bereaved family.
7. I wish to extend my condolences about your husband’s accident.
8. ‘I gave her my condolences,’ she said.
9. As soon as he saw Sherin, he embraced her, whispering his condolences.
10. Soon after the attack, President Hosni Mubarak telephoned the Israeli Prime Minister, Yitzhak Shamir, to convey his condolences.
11. Nathan moved among the guests, offering drinks, accepting condolences.
Writing a condolence message or expressing it orally to a person could be a hard task. The condolences that you offer should bring comfort to the person and console them. It should not sadden or disturb them more. You should sound natural when you offer your condolences and your sympathy should come from the heart. Some examples:
1. My heart is with you in this time of sorrow.
2. I am saddened to hear of your sudden loss.
3. Please accept my heartfelt condolences on the loss of your loved one.
4. Words are not enough to express my sorrow. You are in my prayers.
5. I can’t imagine the sadness you must be feeling from your loss.
6. May God bless and comfort you and your family during this time of grief.
— rayanal@yahoo.co.uk