Sumanth had completed four years of engineering, but unfortunately could not graduate because of a few arrears.
He knows how important it is to complete it, but has never got around to appearing for the arrear papers. When asked he tells them “yeah, I know, I am going to do it next semester”. A year has passed since.
The career development cell had informed him that a few companies were willing to offer placement even with arrears, he seemed interested, but never turned up for the interviews. A course in photography, a gym membership and an online course in creative writing was very seriously considered, but never really got started.
He knows that he is stuck, and routinely keeps bemoaning to his friends about how unfair life is.
Sumanth is like the Greek mythological king Tantalus, son of Zeus, who having committed a heinous crime, which had so much annoyed the Greek gods, that he was condemned to stand eternally, waist- deep, in a pool of water. There was a tree full of ripe fruit just dangling over his head, but when ever he tried to reach out and get hold of the fruit it was lifted a little higher, it was constantly just out of his reach, when ever he bent down to drink the water it would recede, so he was condemned to be hungry and thirsty forever. Sumanth’s self-destructive behavior prima facie might be dismissed as laziness, but a further drill down could reveal an interesting theory known as self- fulfilling prophecy.
When a person unknowingly causes a prediction to come true, due to the simple fact that they expect it to come true, then it’s called a self-fulfilling prophecy. It operates in a circular pattern, our expectations determines our behaviour, which in turn elicits or dictates others behaviour towards us, this further reinforces our expectations, bringing us back to the beginning of the cycle. In short, let’s say, the mind views the situation through a negative filter, engages in negative self-talk, expects a negative outcome and generates one, thereby further supporting the negative expectations. Sumanth’s negativity has been so deep rooted, that every time he attempts to do something worthwhile his internal critic sabotages it, this influences his beliefs and creates an expectation of non-success.
There is a classic story of how elephants are trained, when it's still a calf, the mahout ties it with a strong chain, the calf tries to break free, but since it's still a baby it doesn’t have the strength to do so, but what happens after it becomes big and strong is interesting, because now the elephant has the strength to just yank the chain, but because of childhood conditioning he believes that its not possible, so he doesn’t even try.
Never be susceptible to negative influences. Be objective, question the internal critic whenever a negative thought crops up, you can ask, is this true? How many times has this previously occurred?
With the evidence, debate, deliberate and discard old beliefs. Once reality is evident then replace the negative with positive expectations and let the self-fulfilling prophecy get to work.
R A Nadesan
is an executive coach, behavioural and soft skills trainer with a pan India presence. He can be reached at ranadesan@yahoo.co.uk
