Dear Readers,
As 'Evolved Individuals' who live in the fast lane, we are constantly on a mission to become more efficient and productive in everything that we do. We're constantly trying to improvise by trying to discover faster and better ways of doing things. Generally, if we're good professionally we tend to suffer on the personal front and vice versa. But in any aspect, be it personal or professional, we rarely are aware of one behaviour which we all have inherently developed - Procrastination!
What Is Procrastination?
This word might come as a shock to many, as we're used to using the simpler alternative — postponing tasks. A strong message to students, this is why you often don't perform well in your exams
The next obvious question is... Why do we Procrastinate?
We all Procrastinate, or would have at some point of our lives at least. In my opinion, we do it because of two reasons. One, because we basically wire ourselves to be LAZY and enjoy doing nothing at all. Two, because we always focus on something more exciting and want that. The root cause is instant gratification. If you're not doing anything by being lazy, that also is giving you more pleasure than the other task at hand. The best example I can think of is, not resisting the urge to check Facebook/Instagram while studying. Procrastination also reflects negative personality traits such as lack of self control and self regulation, which is exhibited when we're not able to resist the urges of temporary pleasures.
How to overcome this?
Remember! Procrastination is what we develop, not BORN WITH IT! So the first step is to be aware that you're procrastinating and ONLY YOU CAN CHANGE IT! In my experience, People also tend to procrastinate as they fear failure. If you think of failure and don't even start... It's like expecting to learn swimming even without getting WET! So give your best. That's it, Period!
Motivation — Your biggest Friend
Motivate yourself to do the tasks on hand. Maybe pamper yourself with something that'll make the task more exciting. For example, whenever I buy new gym stuff, I have this urge to hit the gym and workout as compared to lazing around and skipping my workout. Remind yourself constantly about the long term results of your task which will automatically motivate you and keep you on track.
Get Creative
We often tend to get bored with monotony, but imagine if you're able to CREATE that excitement in the task that's important... You'll finish it "Like a BOSS!". Try to make your work as Interesting as possible, like the airline employee who directs a lazy ignorant passenger to the flight in the new KITKAT ad.
Affirm & Confirm!
Always tell yourself positive affirmations or thoughts. Tell yourself stuff like "I can do it!" "No task is tough for me" "It's better to do it today, than start tomorrow" etc. This will not only help you avoid this behavior, but also push you harder to finish.
My Final word,
Ladies and gentlemen, let's break out of telling ourselves things like "I'll be able to do this much better tomorrow" and reach the level of telling ourselves "I'M DOING IT NOW!". Rather than focusing on the end result, Let's start the beginning. Let's not think of how to win the marathon without taking the first step. Let's not Procrastinate now and repent later.
My father has been making every decision for me since childhood. If I don’t follow his choices, he deals with me harshly. I'm 23 and I’m doing my best to complete my B Tech, but it isn’t going well. I'm frustrated and I want to be financially independent so I can live for myself. What should I do? Daddy Not-So-Cool
Before I give you advice, let me tell you one thing first... Everything has a good and bad side to it. The good thing is what we all need to focus on in every aspect of life. So please remember, the reason why your dad is doing everything that you’ve told me is because he loves you VERY much. You may not agree with this now, but you’ll definitely remember my words when you have a child. Since he loves you so much, he is also very protective. I’m definitely not trying to tell you what he’s doing is right. I just want you to keep this in your mind. He becomes harsh with you, because he still isn’t confident of you making decisions. But there’s a flip side, I cannot say that his decisions are always right, as he may not even be aware of the trends today and may not accept it. To manage this, you need to sit and have a discussion with him and communicate how you’re feeling. Choose a time when he’s calm and in the best of moods. You should put across your point in a very calm and assertive manner. If you get frustrated and start blaming him, you’re in for a proper 'grounding' session. Coming to your education, I find it very silly when students tell me they’re not able to study because of their parents’ behaviour. This only shows that you’re preoccupied with those thoughts and not focusing. So here’s my advice, remember that this is just a passing phase. If you allow these thoughts to affect your studies, you’ll have to suffer this forever. Do you want to? No, right? So take it up as a challenge and study well, get a good placement and fulfill all your dreams. For all you know, once you start studying well, your father might allow you to do anything as he’s seeing the results.
Hi. My mom thinks I'm psychologically insane because I am a rebel who has a boyfriend. I do have a commitment problem and change boyfriends every month. Am I really a mental patient?
Committment Phobia
Whoa! Hold on girl! It's OK. This is just a phase. If you really were insane, you wouldn't be able to rationalise and even think of asking me for advice. So stop telling yourself that! In fact, ignore it... Even if your mom tells you that. Next, there seems to be a major communication issue between you and your parents. Either you're not at all communicating or doing it in a very offensive manner because of which there seems to be a disconnect. My first advice is for you to stop being rebellious and understand things from your parents' perspective, I'm definitely not saying that they're right all the time. I'm just trying to make you understand that no one loves us more than the people who have given birth to us. Change Boyfriends every month?? You do realise that they're not pages of a calendar! I also hope you've haven't been PHYSICAL with all of them. My advice? First do something to get your temper in control. Gym, swimming or playing any other game will help. Next, try to be more calm and try to rebuild your relationship with your parents. Help your mom do household chores, be around the house, talk to her. Last but not the least, stay off relationships for a while. You're having commitment issues because you don't really love anybody, but rather use boys as a distraction for the issues that you're facing at home. Once things improve on the home front, you'll realize the actual qualities that you need in a man. Also, LOVE is a funny thing. If the RIGHT person enters your life, you'll never let go of him! So give it time.
What is the best way to avoid procrastination and become more productive? Put-offer
My boyfriend of three years and I have been loyal to each other and madly in love. But recently, his dad had a stroke. Being the only son, my boyfriend, who's doing his BTEch, has to move to a new place with his family, and even worse, get married so that they get someone to take care of this ailing dad. He's just 23. This has taken a toll on our relationship. He is finding reasons to part ways with me. He even had a facebook conversation with a friend of a girl who is a prospective bride, indicating that he might be falling for her. I've started stalking him on social media and check to see if he's talking to other girls. I know this may end in the near future, but I would like it to end naturally. Is that crazy?
Truly, Madly, Stalkerly
Let me be very blunt with you, FAMILY ALWAYS COMES FIRST. So he definitely has to take care of his dad. But since you're telling me he's completing his degree, it also means that he can apply and get a job. If he gets a job, I'm also pretty sure that he'll be able to get married. For this to work, you both definitely will have to first convince your own parents about your relationship and make them understand that you're very serious about each other. Next, get your parents to talk to each other and make it official. Once this happens, there's also a possibility of both of you buying time. But since you're telling me that he's trying to socialise with other girls, it also means that he's not confident and ready to fight for you. If he's not strong, this will never work. The biggest impact that your relationship has suffered from now, is trust issues.Everytime something happens, you'll always suspect him of the same behavior. You already stalking him on social networking sites now, is enough to prove my point. The more you stalk him and he knows that you're keeping watch. This will put more pressure on him and he will always find other ways to work around this. Since I'm not sure how you grew up, If you've been pampered and taken care of well, you'll have to mentally prepare yourself to be ready to take care of his dad and also for household chores. If you aren't ready yet to settle down, as you're young, then it's better that you MOVE ON. Waiting for an ultimatum will only make matters worse. It's better that you slowly phase out, start meeting other friends, distract yourself like he did, understand that this is not the end and find another PRINCE CHARMING for yourself. Even better, let your parents find a nice guy for you.
I am 23 years old. My parents decided to get me married and I was engaged to a boy who is currently in Saudi Arabia. We started speaking and became close. But later, our parents had a misunderstanding and stopped our marriage. I can’t forget him. What do I do? Rules of Dis-engagement
If your parents have found a good boy whom you cannot forget now, they’re also capable of finding a better boy for you. These things tend to happen generally, but also remember, if your parents aren’t happy, it really isn’t a good option to go ahead with this. There might have been issues that might affect you in the future because of which they took this step. There are so many good guys out there, you’ll definitely find your match soon. If this was a love affair and you had known him for a long time, then that’s a different story. It’s not the end of the world. Trust your parents' instincts, they always want the best for you. I’m also sure you want them to be happy, right? In the meanwhile, use this opportunity to go meet your friends and enjoy life.