Homophobes, homoignorants, racists, bullies — there’s no shortage of obnoxious people in the world. And Gujju-American Nikhil (Nik) Dodani, all of 22, has had to bear the brunt of all of these people. But did he get angry about it? Did he plot revenge and vengeance? Did he nurse a grudge against his perpetrators? No sir. Instead, he simply focused on the love and acceptance that he got – being a gay person of Indian origin in the USA — and channeled all the hate into activism and stand-up comedy. Excerpts from an interview:
How is it being a professional stand-up comic and an LGBT activist?
I most recently appeared on NBC’s The Player and Freeform’s Kevin From Work, and am soon to appear in Joshua Leonard’s Behold My Heart and Autumn de Wilde’s Goodbye, Felix Chester. I perform stand-up across the United States and have had my sets featured in BuzzFeed. I’m also an Associate Producer at MoveOn.org, one of the country’s largest progressive advocacy organisations. Much, but not all, of my political work has been focused on LGBT issues.
How often have you visited India?
I used to visit India a lot when I was a kid, and last visited in early 2013. I spent nearly all of my time in Ahmedabad with my family.
Visiting India is always an emotional experience for me. With each trip, I learn more about my grandparents, my great grandparents, and my extended family. I learn more about the struggles and triumphs, the pain and love that my family has experienced. Hearing my grandparents talk about living through the Partition is heartbreaking. But listening to my aunts and uncles share stories about growing up and starting families and businesses in Ahmedabad is incredibly inspirational. As I talk about in my stand-up, I’ve always struggled with my identity as an Indian-American. Each trip to India helps with that.
Most importantly, however, the food is always mind-blowing. I don’t care if I “shouldn’t eat pani puri from the street,” I’m going to, dammit.
At 18, why did you feel the need to come out to your parents and tell them that you’re gay?
This is possibly one of the cheesiest things I’ve ever said, but I needed to tell them so I could feel free and live authentically. I didn’t want to be one of those people who hide everything from parents.
What were their initial reactions, and how supportive are they now?
When I came out to my Dad and he was shockingly amazing about it. I told him and he looked at me and said, “Nikhil, I’ve never had a problem with gay people, but now it’s personal. If anybody ever says anything I will tear them to shreds.” And then he started tearing up, and we hugged, and then I started tearing up. It just blindsided me.
My mom was initially confused, since it really wasn’t on her radar at all. Growing up in India, it wasn’t spoken about, so she just couldn’t process it in the moment. Now, she’s incredibly accepting and supportive. The initial confusion and hesitancy melted away after having many open and honest, and sometimes awkward conversations, with me. She opened up, and her transformation is a testament to the importance of visibility and coming out.
Being an Indian in the US, did you face any racism while growing up?
I’ve definitely encountered my fair share of bullies and idiots, especially when I was a kid in Arizona.
Have you faced any homophobic comments in college or outside?
My personal experience in college was that it was an incredibly inclusive, accepting space for its LGBT students. I came out in college to very little fanfare, and a lot of love, and that gave me the courage to embrace myself. I’ve definitely experienced the unwelcome homophobic comment here and there, but I would describe most of my negative experiences as ‘homoignorant’ rather than ‘homophobic.’
Is the humour in your stand-up acts going to be centred around being gay and Indian?
Yup! The new material I’m writing now is focused on my family, being a gay kid, and being in a relationship with a white guy.
The indian humour gene
Famous stand-up comedians of Indian origin based in the States – Aziz Ansari, Russell Peters, Paul Varghese