I am in a very peculiar situation. I am a 37-year-old housewife and I live alone with my 17-year-old son because my husband has been
working abroad for the last 15 years. As an only child, my son has been quite pampered. He is very affectionate towards me. And from childhood onwards, he has been sleeping in the same bed as me. He kisses and hugs me very often, and he also likes to touch and fondle my body. I had
always assumed that this was just childish innocence. However, one night I woke up from my sleep to find him masturbating while clenching my breasts. I continued to lie there pretending to be asleep but I was shocked inside. The next day I checked his computer and found out that he had been visiting many incest sites and reading incest erotica. I am completely dumbfounded. I don’t know what to do. How do I handle this situation? Should I tell my husband about this?
I suppose I don’t have to tell you this, but you’ve got a serious problem on your hands. I think the very fact that you let your son touch you this way in the first place is a problem. What on earth were you thinking? Physical affection is one thing, but allowing your child to feel you up cannot just be chalked up to “childish innocence” unless he or she is still an infant. You need to sit your son down for a frank talk about all of this, and to hell if it makes him feel embarrassed. And yes, you need to involve your husband in this conversation as well. First of all, it’s very important as a parent to draw boundaries. If your son “fondling” you makes you feel uncomfortable or distressed, you need to tell him right upfront. No one has the right to touch you without your consent, not even your child. Second of all, you have to tell him you found his incest porn and that you were awake while he was masturbating. It’s important that he recognise that none of this is a secret. Finally, you need to get both him and yourself into therapy. Seriously, it’s THAT important. It sounds like you’ve fallen into a weird codependent relationship with your son and now it’s time to create the boundaries that should have been established much earlier. Your kid is all confused about his love for you as his mother and his own burgeoning sexual desires, and you haven’t done much to help him by allowing him to have his way with you for so many years in so many small, but significant ways. Enough’s enough. It’s time for you and your son to get some professional help so that you can disentangle the threads of this extremely complicated problem and start rebuilding your relationship as mother and son, and not as weird sexual codependents.
I used to have a disease where I would forcefully ejaculate at night while I was sleeping. I had this disease until I was 44. I managed to remove this devil’s disturbance by doing pujas and enchantments, but because of this disease I was never able to experience normal sexual desire as a young man and I became interested in boys. I am 59 years old now and I want to get married, but my lust for boys has not gone. Is this attraction wrong?
I hate to break it to you, but your attraction to men has nothing to do with your wet dreams. (Just out of curiosity, what exact “enchantments” did you do to end the wet dream issue? Just wondering.) The wet dreams didn’t cause your desire for men or stunt “normal” development in any way. In any event, if you’ve been attracted to men since you were young and you’re 59 now, I don’t think this is going to go away any time soon. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with your desire for men, but you do have to come to terms with it without trying to come up with jury-rigged explanations for why you have this “problem”.
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