JAKARTA: Pain. Suffering. Desolation. Emptiness. Negativity. Deepika Kumari is familiar with all of these concepts. The former World No 1 has been fighting them for the last six years.
Those feelings, she believed, had changed after the World Cup win at Salt Lake City in July. Her first gold of any sort in six years, the recurve archer believed she was on the up. Mentally and physically. Alas, it was short-lived.
On Thursday, she succumbed to Chinese Taipei's Lei Chien-Ying in the pre-quarterfinals of the women's individual recurve competition. What was strange about the whole encounter was the predictable nature of the loss.
Even though the match went the distance, the 24-year-old did not win a single set after the first. She shot only one 10 out of her 10 last efforts. Stage fright had set in once again. That all too familiar sense of panic had gripped her hands. Her hold on the bow tightened a touch too much and the arrows did not find its designated target.
It all changed in the third set. With the encounter tied at three apiece, Deepika needed a 10 to tie. Pressure. She shot a six to hand Lei the advantage going into the final two stanzas. When the going got tough, the former World No 1 once again showed the white flag and surrendered. After the match, she said she
became a touch too desperate.
"The third set arrow changed everything. After that, I tried to hit 10 but just could not manage it. It hit everything but 10."
That's basically what has happened in clutch matches throughout her career. Rio Olympics, London Olympics and 2014 Asiad. The litany of her disappointments outweighs her success stories. A solitary
team bronze in Guangzhou when she was still a teen and did not know what pressure was.
But it's not for want of trying. She is open to the idea of speaking to sports psychologists to try and find out why she has a mental block. In fact, she did speak to Mugdha Bavare, a sports psychologist earlier this year before embarking on the trip to Salt Lake. She even credited the work put in by Mugdha but it's back to square one after just two months.
Remarkably, the Indian coaching staff does not know what keeps eating at her during blue riband tournaments.
"We ourselves don't know why this is happening," recurve coach Sawaiyan Majhi told Express.
"She was in good form before coming here but this happens. Maybe we will have to sit down with a psychologist,"he said with a shake of his head. She can still redeem herself — she will take part in team recurve and mixed recurve — but if history is anything to go by, you need not hold your breath.
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