KOCHI: The first thought is this, invariably. 'Ouch! I shouldn't have done that.' "Of course, you should not have, but you just did. That's when the palm meets the forehead in a miserable and heartfelt Ouch!! The second time. 2010 had its share of hilarious bloopers, thanks to our ever persevering public figures and celebrities. As the year rolls to an end, Express does a rewind on some of the best ones, lest one forget.
TUGHLAQ'S ROAD
When the grand idea of pedestrianising the MuseumVellayambalam Road struck Public Works Minister M Vijayakumar the first time, he must not have known that an 'Ouch!' was waiting to explode in the wings. On November 15, the short stretch of the main road was shut to motor traffic so that morning walkers could indulge. The project did not even meet the 100 hour mark, thanks to the general public, who bristled with unadulterated outrage. The project was hastily scrapped. The grapevine is that it was the CPM rather than the Minister who uttered the first ''Ouch!''
TIPPLER'S PARADISE
What made P K Sreemathi complain about tipplers prowling around inside the State Assembly Hall still remains a mystery. Perhaps she was concerned, as Health Minister, about their livers? But her anxiety if that was it did not go down well with her MLA colleagues. The Minister had announced her findings two days ahead of the start of an Assembly Session, which did not help either. Sreemathi swallowed her remark just hours after she made it. Anyway, the 16th session of the Assembly got off to a spirited start thanks to Sreemathi.
SANDMAN'S DILEMMA
Finance Minister T M Thomas Isaac obviously meant well when he planned to scoop up sand from the dams, sell it and fill the state's coffers. But the plan didn't work out as he hoped. At Aruvikkara, there was more silt than river sand. In fact, the mining was not even done in the dam, but in the far reaches of the reservoir. At Malampuzha, complaints arose about the distribution of sand. A chagrined Minister formally admitted in the Assembly last week that the idea had bombed. Ouch!
LEGAL TANGLES
Advocate and Congress spokesperson Abhishek Manu Singhvi's appearance in the High Court on behalf of lottery king Santiago Martin proved a major embarrassment for the Kerala unit of the Congress, who has accused the LDF Government of cosying up to Martin. A redfaced KPCC finally complained to the Congress high command about Singhvi's untimely appearance in the court.
STAR WOES
It seemed a decent idea at first, getting Amitabh Bachchan to sell Brand Kerala. But it turned out he was also selling Gujarat. Not that anybody had a problem with Gujarat. But many people, most prominently CPM leaders, apparently had a problem with Narendra Modi, Gujarat's Chief Minister. All hell broke out in the CPM. Bruised, the State Government scrapped the plan, but Big B had dug in deep. Some months later, he began appearing in the advertisements of the Grand Kerala Shopping Festival (GKSF), another Government initiative, with local boy Mohan Lal! How come? GKSF had partnered the Lalstarrer 'Kandahar', in which Bachchan has a role!
WIDE TANGLE
There are a few things which make politicians dump ideologies and team up. At the beginning of this year, the National Highway proved one such. The question was whether Kerala should have a 45metre highway or a 30metre one. The National Highways Authority of India (NHAI) did not have any doubt; Kerala should have a 45metre road. CPMled LDF Government and other parties too did not have any doubt a 30metre road was ideal in the narrow States. Chief Minister V S Achuthanandan even led an allparty delegation to meet Prime Minister Manmohan Singh. But the NHAI did not budge. Eventually, the State decided to give in.
MUSICAL TRAVAILS
Whether this one qualifies as a blooper is still a question. But Harishankar Kalavoor's album 'Silsila hai silsila' proved any publicity was as good as positive publicity. The album was voted as the worst ever uploaded on YouTube, but still, a lot of people checked it out just because of that. Ouch!
(To be continued)
