KASARGOD: In an initiative to encourage remarriage, Kasaragod district’s Widow Cell organised a blind date for divorcees, widows, and abandoned women in Kanhangad.
To the surprise of officials, even unmarried men turned up for the date despite stringent conditions.
“This could possibly be the first such social engagement organised by any government in India,” said chief executive officer of Kasaragod Widow Cell M V Sunitha, who came up with the initiative named ‘Koottu’ or ‘Companion’.
She said 35 women — who signed up on the ‘Koottu’ app developed for enrolling widows interested in remarriage — and 15 men attended the blind date, which was out of bounds for media and relatives to protect the privacy of participants. “Of them, five men were unmarried,” she said.The men were financially well-off but could not find partners because they did not have government jobs, said Sunitha, who is also the district women protection officer. The women who attended the event were between the age of 30 and 55 years. The men were in the 30-70 age group, and most of them were from Kasaragod, Kannur, Kozhikode, and Malappuram districts.
“More women would have attended the event but it clashed with the date of several competitive examinations,” she said. Several women who attended the date said they were “tired of their monotonous life” and needed a partner in their lives. A few women said they wanted financial stability. “Almost all of them insisted that the new partners should accept their children and be a father-figure to them,” said Sunitha.A recent survey by anganwadi workers showed Kasaragod district has around 48,000 widows or separated or abandoned women.
When the Widow Cell was formed as per the recommendation of the Supreme Court in 2018, one of its primary tasks was to encourage remarriage among widows. Sunitha said she was encouraged by Kasaragod Collector D Sajith Babu to come up with a proposal for arranging remarriage of such persons. “We submitted a proposal of ‘Koottu’ to the state government on January 1, 2020, and it got administrative sanction in November,” she said. The collector tapped Fynext Innovations, a startup in Kasaragod, to develop the ‘Koottu’ app to help widows register for the remarriage programme. “Around 5,000 widows have registered on the app,” said the chief executive of Widow Cell. It is an enrolment app and not a dating app.
‘Men looking for beauty, caste’
After the government cleared the proposal in November 2020, the Widow Cell started publicising the programme through WhatsApp and local channels. “We got around 2,000 calls from men from across the state. Most of the callers from Kasaragod asked if there were beautiful widows willing for remarriage,” said Sunitha.
Many also enquired whether women from their caste and religion were available, she said. The Widow Cell put in place stringent conditions to sieve men. It asked for three affidavits -- one, a certificate from a medical officer attesting the applicant is healthy and free of diseases; two, an endorsement from ward member saying the person is an unmarried, widowed or divorced and socially fit for marriage; three, a letter from the police station house officer saying he is not facing any criminal charges. “Though many men will fit the criteria, they will be lazy to get the certificates,” said Sunitha. “We wanted them for two reasons. First, to ensure they are suitable, and second, we want them to take an effort to check whether they are serious,” she said.
For the blind date, Sunitha got applications from 22 men. “We shortlisted and invited 15 of them,” she said.
The 15 men and 35 women were allowed to interact and share with one another how they became or remained single. “No phone numbers were allowed to be exchanged. But we encouraged the participants to take the brief engagement forward. We told them to inform us if they plan to get married,” she said. The district administration, on its part, said it would help set up the new ‘Koottu’ families by gifting them basic home appliances.
35 women, 15 men turn up for event
35 women — who signed up on the ‘Koottu’ app developed for enrolling widows interested in remarriage — and 15 men attended the blind date. Of them, five men were unmarried.