Helping You to Help Yourselves Overcome Common Problems

Published: 05th February 2015 06:05 AM  |   Last Updated: 05th February 2015 06:05 AM   |  A+A-


I read your article for the first time and I became your fan. I was impressed by your simple and meaningful answers. Once I was good at my studies but now I am a bit lazy. There is no special reason for that. Please give me some tips to improve my studies.

You have asked me for an answer on how to conquer your bad habit of laziness.

To break a bad habit you have to ask yourself honestly: Where did this habit spring from?

Is it some distraction in the form of friends who do not study and so you do not, too much TV watching or day dreaming? Once you identify the reason for the change (because you mention you were once good), half the battle is won. Break away from that reason: change the friends group, very difficult but not impossible, switch off all distractions during study hours, sit down at a particular place at the allotted time and focus on the work to be done. Ask your parents to help you achieve your goal. Set small achievable goals and once you reach them you will be encouraged to work even harder.All change can be achieved only if YOU WANT to change, and if you want to change nothing can prevent you. Best wishes.


I have trouble concentrating on my studies. I don’t get serious about studies because I score good marks without hard work. I am helpless to develop the habit of hard work,I need your help for this.

Please do not use words like ‘helpless’, ‘trouble’. Tell me who does not have problems. You must make up your mind that you can overcome all the small problems, that is the first step.

I have written many times on how to increase concentration. Please read the Questions & Answers published every month.

I can only help you if you are ready to help yourself.


I’m a Class 9 student in an ICSE school. The teachers are very nice and do the lessons properly, but my classmates do not like to study and with no competitors in my class I get bored very quickly. Due to them Maths exercises are not done fully, and I do not get tough problems. I don’t want to lose the teachers but if I stay in this school next year I may lose my percentage due to my friends. My question is whether I should leave or continue in the same school.

Your performance depends on two things:

1.Your teachers and their guidelines for the examinations — 25%

2.Your own effort, concentration, practice etc — 75% The teachers do not have to solve all problems in the class. You can get the ten-year series of question papers and work on them. Ask your teachers about what you cannot solve.

You do not have to compete against anyone but yourself. If you have got 75% this time make your target 80% for the next exam and 85 for the one after that.

All students in a class are not the same. You need to find one or two who are serious about their work, and you will find them.

I suggest you stay in the same school till you complete Class 10 and then take a decision.

All the best. Trust yourself and you will do well.


Indira Aiyer.jpgRecently I went out for some photography, which is my passion,but I was really disturbed because I couldn’t see a single bird to click a photo of. I want your help to spread awareness about the consequences if the birds disappear, and your advice on how I can help those birds.  Next is a personal matter that I want to share with you. I am an adolescent and I know there is a normal attraction between girls and boys at this stage, but my friends take it too seriously. A boy even said that he loves me! How can I explain to him that what he thinks is love is just an attraction?

You will need to read up on Google about increasing the bird population in your area as I do not know where you live and whether the area is rural or urban. If you have a small garden put out a bird feeder and some water, that will attract birds as well as help them.

About your second point, you have not asked a question. You seem to be clear that these are teen attractions and love is a mature relationship. Since you are sensible enough to differentiate between the two, you can handle your admirers.

Be clear that this is a time to study and enjoy school days, not to get involved with anyone; this is the period when you have lots of friends, no complex relationships.


Readers, if you have questions related to your life or life skills send a mail to Indira Aiyer and she will certainly have a response  for you.

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