CHENNAI: Opening the third edition of the Mental Health Café panel series recently on ‘Stalking: Romantic or Traumatic’, R Thara, of Schizoprenia Research Foundation (SCARF) stressed the importance of discussing stalking, especially from a mental health perspective. A study of women in rural south Tamil Nadu had reported that 14% of the victims believe their stalkers are mentally ill but that’s not true in every case. “All stalkers are assumed to be mentally ill. This is not necessarily true. In most cases, stalking is a behavioural issue, not a psychological one,” said Thara.
Dr Mangala, consultant, SCARF, stressed that discussions of this sort were crucial in pointing out the emotional and psychological effects of stalking on the victim and understanding the male-perspective.
Language for Stalking: Though the ‘stalking’ was the word used by the media to describe the reason for the death of Priyadharshini Mattoo in New Delhi (1996), it became a household word only after the murder of IT employee Swathi at Nungambakkam Railway Station a few months ago. Until then, it was called eve-teasing, as reported in the media about the murder of Sarika Shah (1996).
But then again, vernacular media is still struggling to find the right words to describe stalking. For instance, oruthalaikadhal and thorathi thorathi kadhal were the two phrases commonly used to describe stalking in Tamil media. “Both have the word kadhal in them, attributing stalking to love; unfortunately, this has been adopted by the film industry as well,” said V Ishwarya, the person behind the ‘Calling Out Stalking’ campaign. She has now proposed that ‘Vanthodardhal’ taken from ‘Vankodumai’ and ‘Vanpunarchi’ be used in Tamil to mean stalking. ‘Vanthodardhal’ translates to ‘violent following’ and Ishwarya is pushing for it to be the commonly used phrase, in a move to keep the element of romance out of stalking.
Tamil cinema and stalking: “Representation of stalking in cinema is seen as a pointed persuasion, cute and flirty. That was really the seed for the campaign,” says Ishwarya, who has been doggedly calling out movies that normalise stalking.
Stalking has always been shown as a way to win the heroine over; this does very little to check the misogyny and male-entitlement that is thriving. “From Sivaji Ganesan to Sivakarthikeyan, almost six decades of Tamil cinema’s portrayal of stalking as an act of love has gone unquestioned. But stalking is not romantic; it’s really a way of coercing a person for different reasons, not always affection,” she explains.
It’s scientifically proved that viewers retain almost 70% of what they watch on TV/movie. When the female lead is shown as meek and giving into the hero’s harassment in movie, stalking is perceived as a declaration of love. “Earlier, it was only the villains who did it; so it became associated with the bad. Now with the heroes stalking leading ladies in the name of love and romance, it is now acceptable,” points out Mangala.
Talking about Remo, the latest Sivakarthikeyan flick, which she ran a campaign against, Ishwarya says, “The film shows the hero gaslighting the heroine. So those who watch the film came out to say ‘Love na love, indhu dhaan love’.
Should we not be alarmed at the wisdom that is being taken away from the movie?” For the uninitiated, gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse where the victim is manipulated into believing the abuser’s reality. It basically breaks down the victim’s instinct and the willpower to form independent opinions.
Speaking about the psychological impact stalking has on the victim, Sudaroli from Prajnya said, “Being stalked makes one feel afraid, unsafe and threatened. She loses trust, especially when family and friends don’t take her seriously. The victim needs a lot of support; plus, our attitudes need to change as well.”
Cyber-crime and stalking : All cyber offences are either bailable or compoundable under the IT Act and it needs to be strengthened to address the imminent fallouts of a digitised India. Advocate V Balu, a cyber crime specialist, says, “Smart phones have already become an essential commodity. We are so dependent on them for everyday activities that we are unable to leave home without them.”
Living in a time when we are being watched all the time, movements monitored and private data accessed, it is essential to know how to use privacy settings and passwords effectively. “By putting ourselves out there, we become vulnerable to stalking, following and morphing. If we can’t live without technology, we have to learn how to live safely around it,” he explains.