CHENNAI : Outfit of the Day
This aunty has decided that she is going to match her outfit with the occasion. You’ll see her wearing an orange dupatta, a white kurta and green leggings. Why? Because Independence Day. And to add the cherry on top, she’ll wear a large, low-hanging blue necklace. Because Independence Day.
I was there
This person was there when the white colonisers left our nation. Unfortunately, they were probably in their early teens at the time and can’t remember much about it. But just like my trip to Sundance, just because I didn’t remember anything the next day, I still brag about the fact that I was there. I’ve got Snapchats to prove it, y’all.
The one looking for anti-nationalists
Like the annoying kid running to the teacher when you’re just trying to have a good time, this guy goes to Twitter to rage about anything and everything you do and say. The poor fellow still hasn’t understood the fact that patriotism is something individualistic, and doesn’t have to always cater to his caste-based, religiously leaning, politically-motivated and jingoistic displays of nationality. He also doesn’t realise that when you put a couple of blokes just trying to do a good thing on a pedestal for 71 years, you forget that they too were human, capable of mistakes. But hoo boy, say this to his face and he’s directly calling the Prime Minister’s office on you. Let him go through his own slow, painful, learning curve.
Rebellious edgelord
“Nehru let his feelings for Lady Mountbatten cloud his judgement. Gandhi allowed the Partition to happen. Also, Ambedkar ruined our justice system to fit his own political beliefs,” says this person, who hates, by principle, anyone who took part in the freedom struggle. But don’t pay him too much attention — he just hates figures of authority and so he’s just taking out his repressed anger here. He’ll go back to listening to metal and being moody from tomorrow.
Practice what you preach
“Mahatma Gandhi preached ahimsa and non-cooperation. How can you, on this day, defy what our nation’s leaders have preached, despite knowing that they have died for a free India?!” begins this guy. You just killed a mosquito that was sucking your blood. I guess he expects you to passively encourage the mosquito for 200 years before sloppily swatting it away, letting it go scot-free with cultural repression, murder, religious intolerance and the Koh-i-noor diamond like our nation’s leaders.
Play dress up
This guy dresses up as the freedom fighter during Independence Day. He’s been practising this for years and he’s got it down to a pat now. He’s got a spare Gandhi costume, he’s been working on his Nehru costume all year, and don’t get him started on his voice training for Bose. He becomes an Internet celebrity during the month, and needs to be paid for the sheer number of Instagram selfies we take with him.
Home is where the heart is
This person takes home décor to the next level. He will decorate his house in hues of orange, white, blue and green. He will cook dishes that feature the same colours. He has flags and motifs lying around his house. Much like most displays of nationality, he does this mostly to impress his neighbours and says little about his own patriotism.