Cuisine Royale is one of those jokes for which you’re certain you wouldn’t laugh at because it’s so bad, but when you do hear it, you laugh so much your ribcage hurts (‘#LOLribs’ make it a thing). The game is imperfect — it has glitches, a lot of lag, and the gameplay isn’t smooth — but somehow, it’s the perfect parody. The game started out as a dig at PlayerUnknown’s Battle Grounds, which is one of the most competitive, with closest to real-life graphics and physics (and the best game ever, in my opinion) Battle Royale that exists to date.
The joke that started as Cuisine Royale (with food and kitchen-related weapons) is now almost out of its early-access stage, and although it almost never loads without issues and mostly hangs in the PC version, it’s still free so I’m not complaining.
The game has some ridiculous pick-up items. Since it’s ‘kitchen warfare’, you are dropped randomly in the field armed with a butter knife. A saucepan on the head is a helmet, and larger pans are shields. The healing items are random bits of food like bread, and random real-life healing items like portable catheters. If your PC is fast, you might find some guns while rummaging through the medieval style stone homes and mills in what looks like a European agricultural region (the actual battleground looks cooler than PUBG, to be honest). There are doors which are really wrought iron gates, and fancy 20th century cars to drive.
I’ve noticed a pattern with games that have classical music running in its trailer turning out to be cool. This one has the music, and the potential to be truly cool (once they correct the gameplay issues). Once it’s truly complete, the game will defeat its competitors in the PUBG-wannabe genre, no problem.
This is because PixelUnknown’s Battleground, PixelField and the sounds-alike all look exactly like their names — pixelated. On the other hand, our Queen parody has advanced graphics that show blades of grass and accurate player shadows. Being free to play is the best feature of the game yet, so get it on Steam before it’s out of Early Access.