Weddings are always a big deal. From the invitations to the bridal wear, décor to the music, everything needs to be perfect. But what’s left under the covers is the life after the big day, which Gurugram-based Life Coach Samira Gupta believes one should be more prepared for.
“Today, everyone is focusing on a lavish wedding and making those couple of days a success. However, once all this is over and the two partners come together, that is when the reality hits. There is a change of environment and outlook with two people coming together from different backgrounds and perspectives. Since they were not prepared for all the changes, they are unable to manage the relationship,” says Gupta, who believes that establishing, nurturing and managing new relationships need good communication skills, and conflict resolution skills.
“With everything available on your figure tips, people expect relationships to change overnight. Also, in today’s scenario, the partners want to live as free individuals, not realising that with marriage they have assumed an enhanced status that comes with certain responsibilities. And as coaches, we try to help focus on emotional intelligence and acceptability.”
We often assume things and are not vocal about them. It is only when everything hits the roof that we say out loud. “Learning the skill of communicating what you are feeling keeping in mind the other person’s feeling is an art but a learnable one. One needs to be assertive while being an active listener. Many feel they are not heard and paid attention to. Also, giving feedback becomes an integral of communication.” With everyone wired differently, they communicate differently and so does their body language. Thus, Gupta believes it is important to learn about these elements to manage your relationship better.
Gupta’s workshops work on the idea that there should be no compromises in a relationship. “When you say compromise, you are operating from a weak zone and not a happy state to be in. You change others by doing the right thing and for the ones that are disempowering you, you let go,” says Gupta, adding, “All these things will happen only when you accept the responsibility of being in the relationship and making it work.”