“Arey beta, there is only 50 percent probability of divorce when girls get married before 25 years.” The meddlesome aunt’s screechy stance made the audience watching the Alia Bhatt-starrer Dear Zindagi roll their eyes. Every family has such aunts. But the shrewd reply of Kaira (played by Alia Bhatt) on how one can totallty avoid divorce by not getting married at all cracked up everyone. Much like this new age movie directed by Gauri Shinde and starring Shah Rukh Khan, ‘marriage’ is the most debated and hated word of the generation.
Rememeber the line, “Bachpan tho gaya, jawaani bhi gayi, ab bas ek pal jeene do jeene do!” Just when the graduates celebrate the good riddance to algorithms, thermodynamics and Trignomtery, they are exposed to other institution called the marriage. While a few argue that it is ‘the right age’ that matters in having a successful marital ride, a few others deliberate that it’s the maturity in understanding the magnitude of the relationship that matters.
The new generation, of course, believe that the self-confidence infused by a flourishing career is what helps one face the googlies marriage throws at them. Really, what is the right age to marry?
Richa Khetawat, clinical psychologist and online counseller with familycounselling.co.in, says that embarking on the nuptial journey in early twenties is too early, in a few cases.“In individual cases, when a person is sure and has found the right match and wants to take it forward, there is no problem. Family pressure in early 20s is too early. But then, pressure to marry itself not a good idea, at any age. A woman has to be and feel independent before getting married. Otherwise she may face an identity crisis and find it difficult to face marital challenges. She would also be more vulnerable to emotional abuse. She may also find it difficult to manage and express her emotions appropriately. This could lead to marital rifts,” she informs.
Richa adds that age is not the best factor to decide whether or when to get married. She says every girl has her own personality/goals and value system. “A girl with a low self-esteem will not be treated fairly in a marriage. She is bound to live with insecurities which makes it difficult to have a healthy marital life. A woman’s worth does not lie in the fact that she is married or not, this is just a cultural illusion in India. If this was the case, then every married woman in India should have been high on self- esteem as they are worthy of it. But that is not exactly the case,” she explains.
Hema Balasubramanian, owner of Color d Earth terracotta jewellery line, says she got married at 22 and feels it was too early. “Being financially independent should be the single most important criteria for a girl to get married. This definitely paves the way for greater mutual respect in both partner, which is the foundation for a sound marriage,” she gives her insight. Sarvamangala Chavali, another successful entrepreneur, who is known for her brands Anagha and Saran, also says there is no “right” age to get married; age is just a number. “On should check the relationship they share within themselves, so that help it will help us identify when we might be ready for marriage,” she adds.
Young girls in the film industry like Ritu Varma and Nivedha Thomas feel girls should establish a career for themselves and feel empowered before taking up matrimony on their shoulders. “I think girls should get married when they feel they are ready for it and not because they’re under the pressure of their parents or relatives,” says the Pellichoopulu actress. Interestingly, she walks this talk in her recent blockbuster movie too. She puts her foot down to tell her dad that first she wants to realise her career dreams. Saumya Tandon, the prime time face of soap operas, voices that marriage needs a lot of patience and maturity. “When we are young, a lot of things are difficult to handle and understand. Age and experience plays a pivotal role in choosing our partner and for the right reasons,” she opines.