BENGALURU : In a live Twitter poll, men were asked — when you are feeling low emotionally, what are you most likely to turn to? A meager 16 per cent voted for ‘talking to someone’. As part of the ‘Men and Mental Health’ campaign by city-based NGO White Swan Foundation, 108 male respondents participated in the poll, which had four options.Majority of them, that is 47 per cent, chose ‘binge watching and surfing the Internet’, while the second most popular option was ‘substance or porn’, at 19 per cent. Eighteen per cent of the men opted for ‘exercise or work’.
Paras Sharma, counselling psychologist who conducted the poll, says, “I don't find the poll results unexpected. In my experience, men rarely resort to talking to people about their emotions, and this did not even refer to talking to a therapist. There are greater implications for men in admitting that they are vulnerable. Patriarchy has them believe that they will not be considered problem-solvers or providers in, which are idealised male traits."The campaign began with an online hashtag #boysdontcry, discussing several topics, including why men find it hard to approach therapy, how they deal with a relationship loss, support received from male peers and the lack of Indian men in the field of psychology.
Talking about coping mechanisms that are acceptable in society, Paras says, "It is okay to be stressed out and resort to violence or have a big stash of pornography, but it is not considered okay for men to seek help. In the new, popular web series Sacred Games, for instance, there is a troubled, 'tough' male cop (played by Saif Ali Khan) taking medication, but you don't see him confiding in someone close. Men are not taught basic skills of empathy and recognising their own emotions."
According to a NIMHANS survey from 2015, more men are likely to experience mental health issues than women, and are less likely to seek help. Ask Manoj Chandran, CEO of White Swan Foundation, why they are taking this up, and he says, "Men and mental health are not rightly understood. In this campaign, we are looking at the environmental rather than illness perspective. Mental ill-health is attached to weakness, which goes against the norms of masculinity. They are pushed not to disclose how they feel."Elaborating the pressure men face, Manoj adds,"The concept of performance or success is viewed very differently for men and women. Indian society norms requires men to be breadwinners, successful and earn more, leading to stress."