Who hasn’t felt angry at a particular point in time? After all, anger is one of the basic emotions. A person without anger is verily an ascetic, one who has attained the state of sthitaprajna or self- poise. The toughness of achieving this state can be understood when I hear octogenarians praying to the Lord to remove their anger, as perhaps they have been unable to do it themselves in their long journey of life.
The threshold of anger is different for different people, with the hapless people around bearing the brunt of the outburst. But anger can be a positive emotion when directed at oneself, at one’s work—when it pushes one to be dissatisfied with one’s output—and aims for higher quality. Angry demonstrations with sloganeering against policies or unsavoury incidents seem healthy for any democracy. But road rage cannot be condoned for any reason when it goes beyond grinding of the molars or thumping of the steering wheel, heard and seen only by oneself.
Unsavoury incidents are beyond our control, but our reactions to them can be controlled by none other than us, as anger cannot reverse any situation. Such anger only eats into oneself and upsets the mental equilibrium and spreads toxicity within. As such anger has physiological effects and affects the human metabolism.
What if one is at the receiving end? A travel acquaintance—and an educated one at that—confided that she was being the target of her husband’s irrational anger each day. Any simple sentence from her provoked a rude grunt or harsh reply. Unable to bear the abuse she revealed that she retaliated at times only to get more hurt emotionally until she decides each day to move on by immersing herself in other tasks. The hurt vanished on its own, she opined. Likewise anger can be cooled down with calming melodies or a brisk walk. As a wise man said, ‘If you spend a minute in anger you lose sixty seconds of peace of mind’.
Isn’t life more than angry confrontations? A news report said that a lady passenger slapped an airport official—a lady too incidentally—who in turn slapped her back. Even I have been miffed several times at public places but slapping anybody never crossed my mind! But such cases are becoming common nowadays with even ‘honourable’ ministers slapping officials. Persons who seem to lose it at the drop of a hat need professional help, to save themselves and others around them! “Speak when you’re angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret,” said an educator. I add, act when you’re angry and you have the best scene you will never want to replay ever again.
Sandhya Vasudev
Email: sandhya.vasudev@gmail.com