On a scale from one to drunkenly dropping a slice of pizza on the floor, cheese-down, and still eating it while your friends try to stop you, how disgusting and germ-filled are some of your sample applicators, Sephora? Be honest. Has anyone ever accumulated enough Beauty Insider points to get something worth having? Has anyone ever purchased Better Than Sex with BI points?
How are you guys still pretending like that Skin ID thing works? How much money do I REALLY need to spend on eye makeup primer? Why must every functional product have a sparkly version of it? Who is wearing sparkly mascara? Does that woman exist? Does she shop at this Sephora?
Is there a moisturiser option for normal people who are neither billionaires, nor looking to slather their face in paraben puddings? Can we have a section for paupers who still have some standards? And what is the name of the hormone you are pumping through the AC vents that enables someone to enter the store with the good intention of buying one lip balm and leaving with a basket full of crap that they don’t really need?
While I might have a lot of questions I’d like to ask Sephora, I think it’s safe to say that I can navigate my way around the vanity-mirrored store and its abused-looking tester applicators. So in the spirit of giving, and in memory of all the times I have left the store giddy and 10 times poorer than when I entered – here are a few Sephora hacks that could come in handy for your next rendezvous.
My first, and biggest tip – avoid the goodies in the little bins by the cash register. Don’t turn your life into a blur of moisturised wipes and solid perfumes – each pop is sample size (or sometimes smaller) and never a good deal. Instead, keep in mind that you can get three free samples from every ‘world’ at the store: fragrance, skincare and colour.
You can get sample sizes of other products for free using points, or sometimes even by asking a salesperson – #teamcheap! Please sign up for the Sephora Beauty Insider so you can rake up points and samples. If nothing else – it will teach you patience. And the birthday gifts are always sweet and super handy to travel with!
Before you feel like you’re being ensnared into a vortex of black, white and glossy all over, understand their floor plan. The more expensive and newer products are always kept at eye level, so check the lower shelves for products that might be a better deal. Also, a kind person brought this to my attention recently – the perimeter of Sephora tends to have wallet-friendly brands, while the pricier labels are clustered in the middle. My protip is to avoid temptation and the centre of the store.
Now go forth, my fellow Sephora lovers, and be rich in your knowledge of deals.
(The writer’s interests include oversharing, wine and period dramas)