It’s safe to say that this is undeniably my favourite time of the year at gym. We’re safely turning into March; and this is when all the zealous New Year resolutions slowly die out. Everybody abandons their goals of working out and I can finally get a locker close to the exit and the nine-kg weights without wanting to stomp on a new mom’s newly-gifted running shoe covered toes. Also, do majority of these shoes have to be pink? Is there some memo I did not get?
To be honest though, a resolution to work out at the gym is as silly as how I look when I wear orange lipstick. You see, with time (and a lot of nudging from a frustrated partner) I’ve become an annoying advocate of people having regular exercise schedules. As in often. As in a part of your life. As in, I believe in you!
You see, this change in my life is fairly recent. Prior to this I participated in absolutely zero sports and once got berated for running slower than a kid who had a sprained ankle. (I was walking.) Anyway, soon I realised that the gym is a place that people leave you alone, when you’re all red and oxygen-deprived, blasting the YMCA song into your headphones. It really is your own little world.
Same goes for a group fitness class. It’s nice because everybody is too concerned about their form to give a crap about what you do. Unless you accidentally kick the girl, behind you, square in her face. Full disclosure: this happened last month in a group pilates class. With my barefoot. I felt horrible. I apologised. She loathed.
So anyway. I decided to try a few group classes and here are my reviews. Let’s do my least favourite one first: Zumba. It’s pretty cool and all that, provided you can physically let yourself go and have fun. Problem with letting yourself go when you’re as uncoordinated as I am is that you are a physical hazard to everyone around you. I clearly have a history of attacking people while I’m exercising, and I’m not completely ready to let myself go yet. Woe is me, I’m not blessed with all those salsa dancing genes.
I will also forever have a love-hate relationship with group yoga classes. What can I say? There’s just something about the smells of farts that are very generously freed and the (very) annoying yoga moms who just seem to have it all so, so together. Also, where does one get a one-hour playback of only flute music and hummingbirds? Who is even recording these albums? Asking for a friend.
Lastly, we have kickboxing. This is something I’m going to try very soon, because just saying it makes you feel like a badass. It’s fun, the classes are short, and the best part? The next time someone cuts you off in the Sephora line, you can totally challenge them to an epic kickboxing duel.
Saumya Chawla
@pixie.secrets
The writer loves to over-share, drink wine & watch period dramas