I’m on a mission right now. A not-so-covert operation where I remove all the magnifying mirrors from the face of the earth. While my one (and only) crowning achievement was removing a single piece from my bathroom, it’s safe to say that I’ll be walking around with a screwdriver kit in my handbag for a while. Don’t even get me started on the mirrors with lights around them. Heartbreakingly horrible.
It’s not just moving back and forth between micro and macro views of your face that is disorienting; it’s also that a x25 times close-up of every pore, freckle and hair is too real, and too sad for me. It was then that I realised that I can’t be trusted around these mirrors. When you’re only looking at a small patch on your cheek — squeezing, teasing and pressing each small bump you can find, you think you’ll be done with the last one.
So you sort of continue in a daze, picking without thinking. Maybe you were bored. Perhaps you were anxious. Maybe you get some strange satisfaction out of doing this. You take a step back after an hour of obsessing picking and meddling; find your face covered in red angry blotches and marks. STOP doing this. I know everyone says it; but picking your face makes the entire situation so much worse! Relax. The mirrors cannot see you. They don’t know you’re there. Resist the blaring siren call.
On one hand we think we’re seeing the truth. A unibrow, discolouration and (ugh) pores. On the other hand, nobody else can see you like that. Which gets you thinking; what is the point of all that graphic detail about the state of those oily filaments around your nose?
It’s a fear I have to face quite literally; but if you don’t want to join my Burn-Magnifying-Mirrors-Club (patent pending) and think these mirrors are not like the Eye of Sauron —well done! There are ways to feel more comfortable around this device. Remember not to make direct eye contact, and try to make self to microscopic while approaching, so as to not anger it.
If blown up mirrors help you blend your concealer better or tweeze your eyebrows better, I applaud you. Tell me your secrets!!! In the meantime, I’ll go remind myself that what I see in that devil mirror is not the badass woman in my selfies or the silly-happy girl in my candids. it’s only the real, flawed, and (mostly) lovely human that my friends and family see me as.
In the meantime, let it be known that I’m all about that hiding-in-the-shadows lifestyle; where I can still feel reasonably attractive. I’ll stick to seeing myself glow from a country and a half away. My mantra is you can’t stress out about what you don’t see, so shanti, grasshopper! Also, Burn The Mirrors!!!!
Saumya Chawla
@pixie.secrets
The writer loves to over-share, drink wine & watch period dramas