During a long career in Munnar’s then British-dominated tea industry, I worked under several British bosses who had their fair share of oddities and idiosyncrasies, if not eccentricities. It was quite an eye-opener for a young greenhorn like me.
Initially I had an elderly boss with a rather odd habit. During discussions he would take out a slab of chocolate, carefully unwrap it, take a big bite and slip the balance back into his drawer, all the while critically eyeing me for any reaction. Thoroughly amused, I somehow always managed to keep a straight face. I never expected him to offer me a piece—nor did he ever!
Another boss used to painstakingly write out his lengthy inspection reports and then dictate them to his secretary. To spare him the trouble of dictating the report and himself the trouble of recording it in shorthand, the secretary once requested the boss to give him the handwritten draft to type—only to be snubbed curtly with, “You’re getting a stenographer’s allowance, aren’t you?”
Yet another boss used to labour long over his handwritten drafts, sometimes plucking out strands of flaxen hair from his head in frustration as he struggled to find the right word. Finally he would produce a foolscap sheet to be typed, pockmarked with additions, deletions, afterthoughts and overwriting. One harried typist who could never decipher his illegible scrawl once joked behind his back, “This draft looks as though a spider’s crisscrossed it dragging a pen between its legs!”
One boss was feared by stenographers as much for his temperament as for his fast dictation. That what he said usually went over their heads seldom occurred to him until a senior suggested that he use a Dictaphone. This did help the harassed stenos considerably besides reining in the ‘runaway horse’!
Another boss, a stickler for punctuality, insisted that everyone start work at 8 am sharp—he himself did so. When a union representative pointed out this would be difficult during the heavy monsoon, the Brit’s evasive reply was, “I’m afraid the monsoon’s not under my control!” “But, sir, the rules are!” piped up the quick-witted representative, catching him on the wrong foot and finally getting him to relent.
Then there was the employee who tried out some of the tips he’d learnt at a business development programme—and lost his job. Apparently, he’d been instructed to confront his worst problems and laugh at them—a strategy he’d tried out on his boss!
George Netto
Email: gnettomunnar@rediffmail.com