Not putting a ring cozy on my singlehood

I did it! I finally did the one thing I have been most hesitant to do — no, I’m not talking about waltzing into Cartier and spending my entire life’s savings on the Love Bracelet.

Published: 14th August 2019 04:00 AM  |   Last Updated: 14th August 2019 01:38 AM   |  A+A-

I did it! I finally did the one thing I have been most hesitant to do — no, I’m not talking about waltzing into Cartier and spending my entire life’s savings on the Love Bracelet. I packed up my bags and decided to travel around Europe by myself. With no friends, family or persistent boyfriends in tow. Want to cry in front of the same painting for an hour at the museum? Sure! In the mood for an afternoon nap without waking up to nagging friends who absolutely “must” hike up a little cliff for “fun”? Of course! The best part? Not having to share the most decadent Viennese cakes and pastries with anyone.

It has been instructional, to say the least. I was afraid of being murdered and my family opening the papers to learn that I was lying in the garbage somewhere. The headlines would read: “Female Traveller Wearing Impractical Shoes Found Dead After Getting Lost Downtown.” Anyhow, that clearly has not happened (as yet) and I’m still strolling around watching sunsets by myself…and playing witness to some of the most beautiful proposals of all time.

Sigh, I walked into yet another one the other day, the most beautiful one yet — complete with a live band and a weeping audience. Must engagement season always follow me around? That is a thing, right? A gross, beautiful, sort of weird thing, much to the chagrin to us singletons trying to navigate our way in a new country.

This week’s edition is for all my lovely readers who may have some sort of engagement ring to flaunt at work and post photos of it everywhere. What happens when you have to take that baby somewhere special? Like scuba diving, the gym, or even downtown (remember the headline!)? Do you just put it on your finger and pray no harm comes to it??? The blasphemy! In another ridiculous invention you never knew you needed — allow me to introduce you to a ring cozy. Marketed as an “activewear accessory” it is meant to keep your rock safe under rubberised wraps when you’re playing tennis at a posh country club with Ingrid or getting your sweat on with Joe, your super hot, personal Pilates trainer.

The small band practically slides over your ring and is quite useful if you have a piece of jewellery you don’t want to take off and stash in a gym locker somewhere. My favourite part is probably the little slits it has so you can view the stone while it’s safe and wrapped up on your hand. Do people really do that? Sit around and stare at their diamonds? I guess so. I’m also quite sure I’ll never need this particular invention, as my impending unemployment and I have no future romantic prospects — and solo travelling, walking into more proposals and living off my hapless father seems like the only way forward. Onward and upward!

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