Whenever friends visit our new 3BHK apartment, the inevitable question is: “Which bedroom do you use?” Since this question is posed to a long-married couple, I am always amused. Only two of us are there, and with three bedrooms between us, how does it matter where we sleep?
But it is not as simple as it seems. It has to do with our way of thinking. In childhood, the siblings—a brother and a sister even—can share a bedroom. As they grow up, this changes. But when it is a married couple, it’s an unwritten rule that they should sleep in the same bedroom. They might not even be on speaking terms. But still, they should share the room.
Isn’t it too personal a thing? Suppose you have had a fight. But just because your mama told you long ago that all differences should be patched up before you go to bed, you go, lie on the bed, turn towards opposite directions, sharing but not sharing, together but not together. Does it make any sense?
Recently a neighbour of mine passed away under tragic circumstances.
The couple had been the sole occupants of the house. They had no known instances of domestic discord. But the husband was found dead in the upstairs of their outhouse. He and his wife used to sleep in different rooms, that too, in different buildings. He used to lock the room from inside at night. The usual practice for them was to sweep their yard—together—at 7 am. That fateful morning he failed to make his appearance. They had to break open his room, only to find him dead. He had died in his sleep. But the poor wife had a lot of explaining to do. Many eyebrows were raised, many murmurs—all of disapproval. She and her husband had no problem with their arrangement. But others did.
“I snore a lot. It used to disturb him. Luckily that room was vacant. Both could enjoy peaceful nights. Who would have thought such a thing would happen?” All of us had the same question in our mind when we left her house—for different reasons. “Even then, sleeping like this, every night, that too, when you are getting older …,” one of us started saying but another one cut her short. “So what? I think this is the case in most of our houses! Just unfortunate that everybody has come to know this!” The sheepish look exchanged said it all.Now I understand that all those ‘estranged’ wives are back to sharing. Just in case.
Email: maashu1@gmail.com