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Answering concisely

Published: 04th September 2012 02:11 PM  |   Last Updated: 04th September 2012 02:11 PM   |  A+A-

Dear Dr K,

Do you ever answer questions directly and concisely instead of rambling aimlessly for about five hundred words and then not really answering the question  at all?

Dr Q

 

Dear Dr Q,

I do. Here are some examples:

 

Dear Dr K,

If a meal taken between breakfast and lunch is called brunch, what is the meal between lunch and dinner called?

B Hook

 

Dear Hook,

If the meal is intended to replace lunch and dinner, it is known as lunner. If it is an extra meal between lunch and dinner, it is called second lunch or predinner. Be warned, these naming conventions are not universally recognised. The term ‘tiffin’, however, can be used in any situation, at any time of the day.

 

Dear Dr K,

Is there really such a thing as time, or is what we perceive as time merely an illusion?

S Amay Chrono

 

Dear Amay,

Time is indeed an illusion, albeit one that is possible to manipulate with a great deal of training and practice. Breaking the illusion of time altogether is nearly impossible. I myself have undergone rigorous time-training, and as a result, I always live five seconds in the past. Things are much better five seconds ago.

 

Dear Dr K,

What is the difference between a monarchy and a democracy?

Gven Tromern

 

Dear Gven,

A monarchy is a form of government in which the people are ruled by a king or queen and their royal family, whereas a democracy is a form of government in which the people are ruled by politicians and their families.

 

Dear Dr K,

How do I know if my parents are aliens?

Urth Ling

 

Dear Urth,

First, establish that you are not an alien. If you are, there is a chance that your parents are aliens as well, but that is not a necessary conclusion. You could have been adopted by human parents. If you are convinced that you are human, and have reason to believe your parents might not be, find their passports and examine them. If they have passports issued on another planet (or another country, depending on what you mean by alien), your parents are probably aliens.

 

Dear Dr K,

What is life?

Dr Q

 

Dear Dr Q,

You ask me for concise answers and then ask such vague and open ended questions just to get on my nerves. Here is your answer, to be as succinct and literal as possible: Life is basically applied biology. Biology is applied chemistry. Chemistry is applied physics, and physics is applied mathematics. Hence, if you are bad at maths, you are bad at life. This, I suppose, explains all of my problems.

Yours questionably,

Dr K



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