“I'm only human; I'm just a woman …so, for my sake, teach me to take, one day at a time.” Few lines of this popular song has always helped me slow down when I needed to the most. Like Today.
While I’ll spare you some ridiculous yet hilarious stories of my life, some definitely for the books; I’d like to write though, how certain life moments, can keep teaching you to take just one day at a time.
As mothers we can easily teach our children diverse subjects like weather, wisdom, sharing or genetics; with frequent comments like 'has the hurricane struck again', 'when you’re like me', 'you’ll understand', 'I’m going to give you a piece of my mind now' or ' you are just like your father'. As mothers, I am not sure if we are preparing them enough to handle frustrations, disappointments, self defense, adulthood, friendship, the list can go on.
Frustration and disappointments are mostly handled like we have learnt from our parents. 'It’s OK' or 'forget it' are heard more often than 'would you like to talk about it' or 'we need to talk about it'. Matters big or small are mostly brushed under the carpet because our in-laws, neighbours or friends are likely to find out.
In our kindergarten we often find parents who want their child to walk into the playgroup classroom on day 1 itself, trust a strange woman whom all call 'Miss or Ma'am' , not look back and get into the routine of the school. Learning to trust is a vital experience and often again not encouraged by us mothers. Of course, we need to rush home or to our workplace or better still just enjoy the break that comes with the child out of the way for a few hours.
My oldest daughter grew up with amazing experiences of outdoor life- camping under the stars, flying around in planes and surrounded by nature. She displayed maturity ahead of her time and walked right into playschool, did not turn back, spent three hours with ease and came out after two hours with a big smile. Likewise, she trusted, must I say ‘we trusted’ all her after school teachers on day 1 itself be it - scrabble, art, guitar, roller skating, or swimming. We have just discovered that this trust has been breached and violated by one of her male teachers.
This teacher befriended her, shared her concerns, kept her secrets safe, manipulated her and abused his power as a teacher. We still are discovering more.
We look back and realise that her frustrations and disappointments through her childhood and pre teen years were not expressed and handled like they should have. While I gave her lessons on humour, aviation, science and cooking through an overdose of easy flowing remarks, I probably and surely missed the little signs. I sure missed spotting the predator.
A mother of three, with a passion for both children and flying, I believe I am endowed with a rare ability to manage children, run a school and find enough energy to get back to my flying. I know I am not perfect and may never be. I will use these experiences to empower my daughter, let more women and mothers know that we have much more to do on International Women’s Day. We definitely need the pedicures, a great outfit and a ladies luncheon; but most important is we ask to take one day at a time.
Audrey Maben is a certified microlite pilot and mother of three