BENGALURU: As the year draws to a close, it is time for my annual introspection.I usually do not subject myself to the Annual Introspection, but this is a unique year. This year, Yours Truly turned 33 - a weird year in some ways. 32 still contains the illusion of youth. Sachin Tendulkar was still belting out international record at 32. Shah Rukh Khan was playing a college lover distributing friendship-bands.But at just a year older, 33 seems old, repetitive, stale in nature. As my 33rd year on this planet draws to a close, I began to ask myself mildly philosophical questions. By 33, I have a fair idea of what I’ll be doing for the rest of my life. The questions are social in nature – marriage, children and parenthood.
Both my parents have stopped asking the ‘marriage’ question. The only real benefit of doing an MPhil is dropping philosophical treatises everytime your parents ask you about marriage. The trickier question is that of parenthood. We all aspire to be better parents than our own parents, and that is probably why the human race evolves. In my 20s, I knew that I did not want to be a husband, but wanted to be a father. Youthful naivety, of course, since marriage is a ritual one needs to go through, to be a parent.
However, in my 30s, I am having third thoughts. Your 30s give you a fair idea of what your average day looks like. With my discipline and absolute lack of schedules, it would be unfair for me to parent a child. Moreover, fatherhood comes with its own set of responsibilities. Not only to provide for the child economically, but also to live as a role model. Which is when another idea struck me - I would like to be a grandfather! I did not meet either of my grandfathers but have heard numerous stories. I heard that they were funny and kind, and left the planet much earlier than their peers. I suspect I’d have gotten along with them better than my parents!
Being a grandfather does not carry any responsibilities. Of course, there are the daily duties of feeding the little ones and taking them out for a walk. But there are no earth-shattering responsibilities to shoulder. As kids turn into teenagers, they might have issues with their parents as part of adolescence. But have you ever heard of a child having issues with their grandfather? Never! There might be good or bad parents. But all grandparents are great grandparents.
A grandfather enjoys the right to switch on and off from his role. If you’re feeding the child and drift off into sleep, nobody is going to judge you for it. You can ask the child to go play on its own, and watch television guiltlessly. It’ll just be forgotten as another of grandfather’s antics and all would be well with the world again.
One could argue that one needs to go through the grind of being a father first. But as a teenager, I did not think it would be possible for me to remain unmarried for so long. So one lives with hope.
And that is the aim I set for myself at the end of the year - to be a grandfather. Where nothing is expected of me. Where I get to spend time laughing and playing and singing. Where I share some wisdom with young ones, they do not pester me for a PlayStation – and I leave when my time comes.
The author is a writer and a comedian.