I am not a religious person. My life has been a non-linear journey with God. As a child, when slam books asked me who my best friend was, I used to answer ‘God’. A few years later, I turned into a passionate atheist, only to finally settle into my 30s as an agnostic.
But you’d never be able to guess my religious opinions if you saw me celebrate festivals. On Diwali, I launch enough rockets for Elon Musk to turn up at my door with a Memorandum of Envy. On Holi, I end
up looking like Jadoo’s cousin visiting from Neptune. There’s a secular nature to my celebrating festivals too. On Eid, I call up my Muslim friends and demand biryani with a certain authority.
On Christmas, I become Jesus Christ himself, helping myself and my friends to wine and food.
As a result, I never thought of Raksha Bandhan as an exciting festival. It’s a relatively sober festival, without sound, colours and lights. One where the focus is on diyas, rakhis and sweets.
However, over the last few years, bursting crackers on Diwali has been frowned upon in the civil society I live in. Holi has been ruled out as my friends are now fathers. In such a scenario, Raksha Bandhan has made a comeback.
It didn’t take long for advertising agencies to cash in on Raksha Bandhan. The ads usually featured photogenic siblings squabbling with each other, before the brother hands out a chocolate/ watch/ necklace/ life insurance policy.
While I do get the ‘bandhan’ part of the festival, I could not relate much to the ‘raksha’ part of it. I find the concept of protecting my sister mildly amusing because all my life, my sister has been protecting me. A few years older to me, my sister has supported me at every juncture of my life.
Since she opted for and excelled in Commerce, I faced no pressure at home to take up Science in college. When both my parents kicked me out of their houses, she took me in and made sure I was comfortable and safe. When I wanted to join Advertising as a copywriter, she recommended I read magazines that focused on the field.
When I joined Journalism, she sent me money every month, ensuring the fire in my belly was cooled down by food at regular intervals. She has tied me a rakhi every single year of my life, a custom I have treasured. This year, she sent me a handmade rakhi with the words, ‘Duly sanitised’.
All through my life, my Akka has both tied me a rakhi AND protected me at every juncture of my life.
What do I do in return, you ask? We don’t share the kind of equation where I can tag her on social media with throwback posts. So instead, I choose to write humour columns dedicated to my Akka, secretly hoping she gets to read them!
Hriday Ranjan Writer, comedian