BENGALURU: Among the stories that have been retold time and again by Indian spiritual teachers, one story that stands out is about the Yaksha and the seven jars. In some stories, this Yaksha was a wise teacher, while in others, a person of much mischief and even an evil magician, but the story is essentially similar – a person goes into the wilderness, away from their village or town, happens upon these seven jars of gold coins, and a magical voice offers that these are all theirs to have.
Very few in these stories can resist the offer of such bounty that seems to come with no strings attached. When they rush back home to their bewildered partner and together they find that the promised jars are very much there and as they open the jars one by one, they are overjoyed to find each brimming with the promised bounty. Six are as full as they can be, but the seventh is hardly full at all. Some stories have it as just about half-way, and others have it at much lesser, but they all agree in one aspect – the hapless couple then get caught up with worrying over how come this one jar is not full.
They fret and fume about it, bring whatever they have and try to get it as full as the others, but the jar never gets full. Whatever they do, they just can’t fill it up. They forget about all the other full jars, and get so worked up about this one jar that is not full and make it their life’s mission to make it full, but alas! They just cannot. In their pursuit of making this one jar full, they lose everything. Some stories talk about how they even sell everything they have in trying to do this, and others talk of how they empty the other full jars in trying to make this one come up to level, but the jar never gets full. The stories end with their utter penury, or with them wisening up and letting it be.
The story is often told as a metaphor for greed, but it can be read as a lot more. In relationships, we often talk about different intimacies that the people in the relationship could look at – physical, sexual, emotional, intellectual, social, spiritual and social. We could argue about the particular number, but let’s keep with these seven for the purposes of this story.
Now, do you think we need to have all these intimacies in full measure to have a successful relationship? Can you really be happy if one of these intimacies just does not get filled, no matter what you try? Would not having satisfaction in one undo everything else that is there, and potentially destroy everything? Can a relationship survive and thrive with less than full intimacy across all these parameters? The seven jars story applied to love reveals itself to be a lot more than a child’s bedtime story, doesn’t it?
(The writer is counsellor with InnerSight)