BENGALURU: Good morning, Bangalore! I refuse to use the phrase ‘a new normal’ or ‘an alternate reality’ anymore. I find it pretentious and full of fluff. These phrases, in my opinion, keep us locked in a state of almost paralytic anxiety. Fear is tangible, whereas anxiety is dissipated and all over the place. There seems to be no concrete evidence, motive or reason for this anxiety, but it’s always lurking in the background. However upbeat and positive we sound, even as the intellectuals give us rational explanations, and the meek nod obediently trying desperately to believe, this gnawing anxiety is always omnipresent like bitter bile just waiting to regurgitate itself.
I know, because I too am often a victim to this phenomenon. I may talk shop, regale my friends with my quick wit and one-liners, sound confident and upbeat but I just cannot ignore that sick feeling at the pit of my stomach that gnaws away at me. I truly believe that the women, once again, had to bear the brunt of the present ‘altered’ state of affairs. For the last two months, right from friends and family to my househelp had to deal with a bulk of the problems that arose during these challenging times. Every single woman I know works. Yet we are general dog’s bodies, and it is amazing how much we put up with.
Even the emancipated, vociferous ones (like me) have to prudently pick our battles or we can fall down exhausted with every stimulus that comes our way. For example, take the mother of all lockdown phrases: ‘I help my wife by washing my own plate, or to be a real man is to help your woman’! No, you bozos! You are not helping your wife/woman /mother. You are doing housework, which is not the sole responsibility of the ‘womenfolk’. So you are not helping us women, you are merely doing housework! Sheesh! Many times as I trade conversations with my friends, we all in some way or the other are weary of being slotted in the roles allocated to us.
In fact, after this bizarre situation that was thrust upon us, many women have been bold enough to admit (not openly of course), that family maybe a tad bit overrated! But that being said, it is the women who are showing greater entrepreneurship and resolve and going about systematically tweaking their business modules with clarity of thought and courage. I see my young daughter, who was caught in the lockdown in Bangalore, developing a new business module (she is a celebrity manager in Mumbai) and adapting to social distancing and safety protocols by shooting online and in smaller groups. She is temporarily working out of Bangalore as she is stuck here and making the most of it. My dear friend, Manjul Gupta, a businesswoman, has tirelessly worked with the government and other salon owners to bring in safety and hygiene protocols which are on another level.
A lady who has a force of 1,100 employees, she is equally devoted to giving them back their livelihood as she is to satisfying her clients. My friend Sarayu Hegde, a brand consultant, has spent her lockdown days on her farm and reacquainted herself to indigenous plants that are edible as well as great natural beauty enhancers. She has now decided to work extensively with local fabric and indigenous products. Atma-nirbhar to the core! I have quoted the young Kashmiri poet, Haroon Rashid, often enough. He sensitively wrote about ‘falling asleep in one world and waking up in another’ and where he gently warns that, ‘humans are now in cages’, as nature reiterates, ‘you are my guests and not my masters’. I truly believe that if we redeem ourselves as human beings, there is hope that we might be destined to sharing a world of beauty, empat hy and compassion.