BENGALURU : Divorces tend to be associated with intense drama or severed relations. But Aamir Khan and Kiran Rao’s recent announcement of parting ways after 15 years of marriage has stirred up a conversation about the stereotypes we associate with a separation. Has our attitude and acceptance towards divorce changed? Meera Ravi, psychotherapist/founder and director of a centre for counselling, Prerana, sheds light on the impact of this celebrity couple’s divorce. “It states that it is okay to get divorced. However, one must not get influenced by celebrities and decide in haste. It is better to examine your relationship, have a discussion with a therapist and then take a call,” she says.
While urban crowds may be more forthcoming in accepting a split, the case is not the same in rural parts, believes Ravi, who says we are currently in a phase of transition. “As a society, we are meant to go through stages of development. Now, we are experiencing a shift in our culture and belief system. To eliminate the stigma or taboo of divorce will take time,” she explains.
In their statement, the couple said, “In these 15 beautiful years together we have shared a lifetime of experiences, joy and laughter, and our relationship has only grown in trust, respect and love. Now we would like to begin a new chapter in our lives -- no longer as husband and wife, but as co-parents and family for each other.”
While their separation appears to be mess-free, there’s no denying it could still have been a difficult decision. Hamsa Nataraj, HOD of the Department of Psychology at Mount Carmel College, says, “No divorce is easy, it usually is a painful process and a difficult one. They have created an image that isn’t messy. Any divorce involves not only the couple, but also the immediate family members, who go through a tough period, and we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors.” And perhaps awareness too has played a role in greater acceptance. “A broken marriage is better than a bad marriage. So people are more open to moving on from a broken marriage than living in a toxic one,” adds Nataraj.
Poornima Prasad, a psychology lecturer, brings up an essential reminder – that a divorce is not for the society to accept. “A divorce is between two people. No one can imagine the stress they must be going through. We don’t have the right to accept or reject their decision,” she says.