BENGALURU: I have always maintained that cricket is crack cocaine to us Indians. If denied our cricket, we might often do crazy things — like asking our politicians for accountability. The IPL is our annual drug vacation. But this year, (much like Modiji’s vaccine), we were given the first dose of IPL in April, and the second dose three months later.
I have watched, played and written about cricket for decades. I have defended the sport, attributing our love for cricket as a remnant of our colonial history. When asked why so few nations play the sport, I argued that at least it gave us a chance to be No.1 in one sport — considering our records in other sports. When quizzed about the slow nature of cricket, I would reply that it was the perfect sport for a pot-bellied nation where people didn’t really like to run.
But something has changed in the last few months. I once cursorily tagged along with my friends to a game of soccer, and now I’m hooked! Like Ranbir Kapoor coming of age in a film, I have broken free from my toxic relationship with cricket.
In soccer, one is constantly involved in the sport. Unlike in cricket, where one could play an entire game without even touching the ball once! Soccer does not require you to be blessed with the sublime gifts of a Sachin Tendulkar to impact the game. An assist is as satisfying as scoring a goal. In cricket, one often knows the result of the game by looking at the first half. In soccer on the other hand, there is a constant sense of unpredictability. Ten good minutes could swing a match either way.
Cricket is often called the ‘gentleman’s game’, but soccer brings out one’s banal, animalistic nature. The constant banter, chatter and sledging gives one the feeling of playing a real sport. Cricket, on the other hand, could be played inside a library! What would amount to a 3-match ban in cricket wouldn’t even be double-checked in soccer. Even the experience of watching soccer has spoiled me. On days that have both cricket and soccer matches, I often finish watching an entire soccer match, only to find that not even a quarter of the cricket match has been completed. Soccer does not feature commentary by geriatric gentlemen who played the sport before computers were invented.
I have been playing soccer for a few months now. I perform standup comedy on weekends, and review films on Fridays. But Wednesdays have been my favourite days of the week for the last few months. My column gets published in the newspaper, and I join my friends in a game of soccer. In all senses of the term, I have broken up with cricket and started flirting with soccer.
But I often think back to my relationship with cricket and wonder — how come a sport like soccer didn’t catch up in India? Soccer requires no equipment or infrastructure, and involves every single member of the team. And that is when it struck me!
We, in India, have had the caste system for thousands of years. It’s no wonder we love a sport where a minority hit the ball around, others run around to collect it, while some don’t even get to touch the ball through the game. Some are not even allowed to play the sport; their only job is to give the players water!
As a nation that still practices untouchability, how could we take to a contact sport like soccer? Which is probably why we love cricket — a sport where the ball is wiped a number of times before being delivered to the batsman.
(The writer’s views are his own)