BENGALURU: I am not a man of science. When covalent bonds and the laws of motion entered the syllabus, I took refuge in the safe confines of ‘Commerce’, and later settled in the Arts with my journalism course. I respect people who devote their lives to science and technology, and am grateful for the convenience as I sip on coffee and type out this column on my smartphone.
However, I have a few questions for the doctors, engineers and scientists reading this column. We have been sending people to space for decades. We made a hole in the Ozone layer and even closed it up. We extracted energy from wind and sunlight, and wiped off entire species from the face of the planet. But why have we failed to defeat the measly mosquito?
Cohabiting the planet along with dinosaurs, mosquitoes are responsible for the deadly yellow fever that wiped out millions of human beings. The fate of many wars was determined by the armies’ preparation or ill-luck in the face of mosquitoes. The mosquito is blamed for the ruin and decay of Roman civilisation, as well as Alexander’s death in his quest to conquer the world. The Nazis filled lakes and marshes and released mosquitoes in the swamps. There are over 100 trillion mosquitoes in the world. We have made superheroes out of spiders, bats, and ants. But even the late great Stan Lee couldn’t use his imagination and charm to make a mosquito seem like a friendly creature. And I wouldn’t blame him!
I have been witness to mankind’s neverending war against mosquitoes. The first weapons of mass destruction were the mosquito coils. But the process was like calling a ‘tantrik’ home. You lit a coil, and closed the wind o w s a n d doors. There was a lot of smoke, and dubious results. Then came the mosquito repellent creams – with a smell so strong that even human beings avoided your company. Then came the mosquito nets that made every Indian house look like cheap Sanjay Leela Bhansali sets.
You tucked yourself inside the white fortress and watched mosquitoes poking at the holes, desperately trying to get in. You could even hear the Royal Mosquito Symphony hum out their greatest hits near your ear. Home remedies were thrown up too – but camphor, garlic and eucalyptus were no match for these mutant, Avenger mosquitoes! Mosquito mats were slipped into little alien-looking devices. Liquid mosquito repellent machines later replaced them.
Liquid roll-on liquids were made for humans and our clothes. Sprays were introduced in the market, as were fast-card papers that could be burnt to terminate mosquitoes. But much like Terminator-V, the effort was a disappointing failure. We finally settled on the ‘mosquito racquet’. Such is its impact that I suspect all the medals we win in badminton and tennis could be attributed to little children wielding the mosquito racquet at an early age! The Bill and Melinda Gates are experimenting with a technology called CRISPR – in which mosquitoes will be genetically modified to drive themselves to extinction. But then, Bill Gates also claimed that Windows 98 would be buttery smooth.
So I shall take Bill’s words with a pinch of national salt. When the history of human beings is written, we will be credited for our incomparable ability to extract resources from the world. For wiping out flora, fauna, and entire species from the planet. Our obsession with expanding, conquering, and ruling. Our curiosity to peek beyond the blue ball we call home. But as they sip on their evening cups of radioactive tea, future aliens will laugh at our abject failure to win over this little flying pest – the mosquito!