BENGALURU: You must have seen the meme — of gyms being full in the first week of January, and empty by the second. As a frequent user of gyms, I can validate that the memes are grounded in truth. I also have a few theories as to why that might be true.
Gyms are extremely lonely places. You are all by yourself, fighting your insecurities in front of strangers. There are mirrors all around you, with pictures of perfectly sculpted human beings mocking you from the walls. Then there are trainers who want to make you the next Salman Khan, even though you live the lifestyle of Fardeen Khan.
The loud music — either rap or EDM — is supposed to inspire you, but makes you feel like an octogenarian who mistakenly walked into a rave party. The TVs are constantly playing a music or sports channel. And yet, every customer is on their headphones, listening to their own music. Overall, the gym is an extremely lonely, unconducive atmosphere to work out in. It feels like an extension of office, with its own rules, politics, and disappointments.
We need to reimagine our gyms. We must begin by removing the posters of those perfectly sculpted specimens. Put up relatable, attainable pictures. The neighbourhood uncle, high-school PT sirs, the friendly, neighbourhood policemen. Employ common-looking people as trainers. In the age of YouTube and fitness apps, we don’t need someone to take us through the basics. We need someone to talk to, a friend. Imagine someone who also ate a jar of gajar halwa the previous night and is burning it away along with you.
With the popularity of CrossFit training, one could place bosses’ pictures on the punching bag. There is no fun in punching a harmless bag. In fact, when you catch a glimpse of yourself after a couple of minutes, you begin to look a little stupid. Why not incentivise the punching? Ask customers to bring a large A3-size flexi printout of their bosses, and watch them transform into Mike Tysons and Evander Holyfields.
Serve beer. I know that sounds radical when you first read it. But allow me to explain myself. A beer is one of capitalism’s best gifts to man. It is cold and refreshing, and can instantly uplift one’s mood. What about driving back, you ask? Have your customers walk back home, and they get to wrap up with a solid cardio session. It’s an offer I’d jump at -—workout for an hour, and you get to relish a guilt-free, hard-earned beer. Screen movies. Attention spans are diminishing at an astonishing rate. It is futile to expect people to workout for an hour at stretch. Customers need something to keep them hooked. Imagine working out to Rocky, or as Amitabh Bachchan in Coolie, as you lift weights and connect to your favourite actor.
That would be my idea of a gym. Where you meet friends, enjoy a movie, workout, drink a beer, and go home. We need to make the gym a fun, social place for people to hang out at. A place that is far-removed from home and work, an escape from a job and family.
Since Modiji has always emphasised on the need for fitness, and is a Yoga enthusiast himself, I am in a good mind to send a proposal to the Ministry of Youth Affairs & Sports. We might not have taken the world of sports by storm yet, but we can certainly help our youth have more affairs. We need to reimagine our gyms if we want our youth to be fit!
(The writer’s views are his own)