BENGALURU: Down south in India, we relish the few weeks of winter when the air is cool and crisp, the skies azure blue and the fields still green with the last tail of the North East monsoon having wagged the few bits of rain that we get before a long dry spell.
It is a beautiful time to do anything – it is wonderful to sleep in, cuddled up in heavy blankets, and equally wonderful to wander about the gardens, and if we are lucky enough to make time for it, in the hills, valleys and beaches. If none of that, it is still lovely to walk about the city centre, sitting in cafes and catching up with people. In a few weeks, it will become too hot and then there’s just heat till we get the next monsoon.
It is still home even when the weather is not as beautiful. We find things about the days as they are to enjoy them – the mangoes, so-called ‘ice apples’, watermelons and jackfruit when it is super hot outside; the hot chai and pakodas when it is pouring buckets.
Very few of us can and even want to chase the best weather there is and shift houses every few months seeking to be in the perfect weather with watermelon blue skies and green fields. We want the weather to be what it is supposed to be – not change randomly.
People are even more inconsistent than the weather. We might be perfectly clear-headed, smiling and friendly one moment, and turn very quickly to being black as thunder, anger oozing out of our every pore, and soon after that be a mess of tears.
Maybe not all of that every single day, but we can’t always be in a welcoming space and keep a good temper – we are so susceptible to everything that happens around us. Much as we might try to keep an even temper, practice meditation and mindfulness, and follow spiritual teachings that encourage detachment and emotional distance, we will still not be perfect. It is just how we are built.
Loving each other then is to love the shifts in moods and temperament as well, as long as it is within reason and understandable. We just want to know what’s making each other upset, or angry, or sad, or anything else – including what’s making us happy. We want to know so that we can adjust to it and be with each other, enjoying and appreciating what it feels like to be in that mood.
There is great love to be had in being able to be with each other feeling each other’s emotions fully, understanding where it comes from and connecting with each other. We don’t need each other to be permanently blue skies and green fields – we just need to be each other’s safe space whatever the emotional landscape is.
Let the seasons roll as they will. Let your lives unfold as they will. Just love it all.
(The writer’s views are his own)