BENGALURU: At one point in the distant history of our glorious nation, Brahmacharya – or bachelorhood – was revered by our ancestors. A man who sacrificed mortal pleasures like marriage was given free food, a place to stay, and treated with respect. When Bheeshma swore to remain a bachelor in the Mahabharata, the gods showered him with flowers (or at least, that was what was shown in BR Chopra’s version!).
Today, bachelors are ridiculed and treated with wariness. Bheeshma would have been given a flat if he had gotten married to Amba, Ambika and Ambalika. But as a bachelor, he would have to sleep on his bed of arrows. If our ancestors looked down at how bramhacharis are treated today, they would be shocked at how we are looked down upon.
For some reason, bachelors are looked at with fear, stigma and suspicion. People who get married have to endure an awkward first meeting with their partner’s family. Bachelors have to go through ‘the talk’ every time they need to find a house to stay at. There is a scrutiny process that is more stringent than the passport verification process of North Korea.
One has to explain their job, their career choices, gap-years in their career, and the reason for having long hair. It is no coincidence that a number of movies tell the stories of youngsters pretending to be married in order to get a house on rent. And even if an unfortunate woman agrees to play along, you will have to furnish a photo, marriage certificate, parents’ Aadhar cards, blood report of your grandparents, and a detailed explanation of all the elements in the periodic table.
The primary fear of house owners, I’m told, is that the room will be ‘ruined’ by bachelors. Some of the fears are probably justified. I have lived with a few flatmates so untidy, they wouldn’t be permitted on Jack Sparrow’s ships! But most of us are tax-paying men trying to get by in life. Then there are arbitrary rules, like ‘No non-veg’ and ‘No ordering non-veg also!’.
Of course, if you’re married – you can eat anything or anybody – no questions asked! There’s also the ‘No parties’ rule. As if all of us are employees of the IT Yeti industry, looking to shoot the next season of Narcos at their flat. If the owner lives nearby, you are granted an unsolicited warden who can conduct surprise checks with more vigour and inspection than the Enforcement Directorate!
If the house owners expanded their perspectives a bit, they’d realise that bachelors are good for the local economy in many ways. We almost universally hire maids and cooks. In case we cook our own food, the leftovers can be used as cyanide by the Research & Analysis Wing (RAW). We order food from local restaurants and groceries from the local kirana stores.
We contribute to the state economy through our continuous patronage of wine shops. We are kinder to the local stray dogs. In fact, you’ll find pigeons and crows living rent-free in our balconies, and this is not even mentioning the cockroaches, lizards and earthworms that contribute to maintaining the fine balance between flora and fauna in the world.
If you own a house, consider this column a subtle plea to go easy on bachelors. Unfortunately, most of us are perceived to be gambling, low-life degenerates whose purpose is to cause destruction wherever we go. It’s a good thing Lord Hanuman resides far away in the Himalayas. If he came to our cities, our house-owners would find a reason to deny him a flat due to lack of local address proof!
(The writer’s views are personal)