Julian stood up and started pacing back and forth across the living room floor like a seasoned litigator releasing his final kernels of reason in an impassioned closing argument. “Don’t fool yourself into thinking that you will be a more loving and giving husband when your law firm takes on a few more junior lawyers to ease the burden. Don’t kid yourself into believing that you will start to enrich your mind, care for your body and nourish your soul when your bank account gets big enough and you have the luxury of more free time. Today is the day to enjoy the fruits of your efforts. Today is the day to seize the moment and live a life that soars. Today is the day to live from your imagination and harvest your dreams. And please never, ever forget the gift of family.”
“I’m not sure I know exactly what you mean Julian?”
“Live your children’s childhood,” came the simple reply.
“Huh?” I muttered, perplexed at the apparent paradox.
“Few things are as meaningful as being a part of your children’s childhood. What is the point of climbing the steps of success if you have missed the first steps of your own kids? What good is owning the biggest house on your block if you have not taken the time to create a home? What is the use of being known across the country as a red-hot trial lawyer if your kids don’t even know their father?” Julian offered, his voice now quivering with emotion. “I know whereof I speak.”
This last comment floored me. All I knew of Julian was that he had been a superstar litigator who hung out with the rich and the beautiful. His romantic trysts with nubile fashion models were almost as legendary as his courtroom skills. What could this former millionaire playboy possibly know about being a father? What could he possibly know about the daily struggles I faced in trying to be all things to all people, a great father and a successful lawyer? But Julian’s sixth sense caught me.
“I do know something of the blessings we call children,” he said softly.
“But I always thought you were the city’s most eligible bachelor before you threw in the towel and gave up your practice.”
“Before I was caught up in the illusion of that fast and furious lifestyle that I was so well known for, you know that I was married.”
“Yes.”
He then paused, as a child might, before telling his best friend a closely-guarded secret. “What you do not know is that I also had a little daughter. She was the sweetest, most delicate creature I have ever seen in my life. Back then, I was a lot like you were the first time we met: cocky, ambitious and full of hope. I had everything anyone could ever want. People told me I had a brilliant future, a stunningly beautiful wife and a wonderful daughter. Yet, when life seemed to be perfect, it was all taken from me in an instant.”
For the first time since his return, Julian’s eternally joyful face was enveloped in sadness. “You don’t have to continue Julian,” I offered sympathetically.
“But I do, John. The drunk driver who killed my daughter didn’t take away only one precious life on that sun-soaked October afternoon — he took two. After my daughter passed away, my life unravelled. I started spending every waking minute at the office, foolishly hoping that my legal career might be the salve for the pain of a broken heart. At times, I even slept on a couch in my office, dreading to return to the home where so many sweet memories had been laid to rest. And while my career did take off, my inner world was a mess. My wife, who had been my constant companion since law school, left me, citing my obsession with my work as the straw that broke the proverbial camel’s back. My health deteriorated and I spiralled into the infamous life that I was engaged in when we first met. Sure I had everything money could possibly buy. But I sold my soul for it, I really did,” Julian noted emotionally, his voice still choked up.
“So when you say ‘Live your children’s childhood,’ you are basically telling me to take the time to watch them grow and flourish. That’s it, isn’t it?”
“Even today, twenty-seven years after she left us while we were driving her to her best friend’s birthday party, I would give anything just to hear my daughter giggle again or to play hide-and-seek like we used to in our back garden. I would love to hold her in my arms and softly caress her golden hair. She took a piece of my heart with her when she left. And though my life has been inspired by new meaning since I found the way to enlightenment and self-leadership in sivana, a day doesn’t pass without me seeing the rosy face of my sweet little girl in the silent theatre of my mind. You have such great kids, John. Don’t miss the forest for the trees.
The best gift you could ever give your children is your love. Get to know them again. Show them that they are far more important to you than the fleeting rewards of your professional career. Pretty soon they will be off, building lives and families of their own. Then it will be too late, the time will be gone.”
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