CHENNAI: I often wonder if my brother gave less pain during labour and this was why my mother chose to take him with her and desert me when she decided to leave my father. I was just 11 years old then. I was not sad that I had to stay with my father, but the fact that my own mother does not want me still lingers as a painful memory and it does not allow me trust anyone else in my life.
Everything seemed normal. Till I was in Class 6, I used to be like just another girl of my age who would go to school, come back, share stories with my parents and be normal, but all of it changed fast. I remember my parents had a fight, and that’s when my mother decided to walk away and took my younger brother alone with her. I stood close to him watching and waiting for my mother to call me, but she did not.
A year later, I was admitted in the school hostel and used to come home only for vacations and stay with my father and step-mother. I completed my Class 10 with 436 marks. Later, I was shifted to another school, where I opted for vocational group. I had to study from home, staying with the family.
When I say home, it feels like a place where all my movements were constantly watched 24 hours a day suspiciously. My stepmother would blame me for things I had nothing to do with. The negativity was so much that I started doing things that I know are bad. Why not do things that deserve such branding when she already thinks am guilty? For instance, when any boy passes lewd comments, I would end up in a physical fight with him. If my mother was with me, I could freely share things with her and put an end to all. I even started bunking classes and went out with my friends to Besant Nagar beach just to explore. Recently, my teachers came to know that I had bunked class. After this, I was dismissed from the school. My father and step-mother said they were ashamed of me and that I was a burden to them. It was then I decided to run away from home.
I left the house on March 4 and approached a church in Santhome, asking them to give me a job. People in the church convinced me it was not the right time and produced me before the Child Welfare Committee. The committee members made me stay in a home at Kellys. My father and step-mother visited the place and wanted to take me back home.
But my father said that he had spent a lot on my education and this made me feel like a burden. I don’t want to be a burden to anyone. So I am just waiting to turn 18, when I will be considered a major and I can work and earn for myself. I am just waiting for the day when I can start living free on my own terms.