Mental Health: These five warriors tell us how to defeat mental demons
CHENNAI: Rallies, workshops, movies, talk shows and celebrities have made people aware of mental illnesses. They urge people to talk about their mental health. Yet the stigma around this topic is strong. And this leads to an internalised shame among the victims about having a mental illness.
The Banyan recently organised the Mad Pride event at Elliot’s Beach to educate the general public on subjects related to mental health. CE met five mental health warriors who were tortured based on caste, gender, and even the need for love. Here are their stories of hurt and healing.
Caste curse
At the receiving end of caste discrimination, marginalisation and violence since his childhood, E Thamizharasan’s life was filled with hurt and humiliation. Added to this, coping up with his father’s drinking problem and domestic abuse tested his inner strength and patience. “I grew up in Tiruvallur. Every time I stepped out, people used to call me a drunkard’s son, asura (evil), an untouchable and would hurl abuses for no reason. Getting out of the house was difficult and so I always stayed in,” Thamizharasan recalls.
A troubled Thamizharasan often insisted that he should not get admission based on reservation, fearing taunts. With much difficulty, he finished his Bachelors in Civil Engineering and took up a job in 2015. “Abuses related to my caste only kept increasing, and one day at the office, the supervisor hit me in public for not working properly. That pushed me into a dark place,” he said.
For two years, he could not sleep and did not understand anything that happened around him. People abused and his mental health deteriorated. In 2017, with the help of his acquaintances, he joined The Banyan and his health improved after a year. Today, he works as a civil engineer at a government housing board. “All it took was a lot of kind words and little medication,” he said.
Girl troubles
Numerous studies across the globe state that women are nearly twice as likely as men to suffer from mental illness. This gender disparity in depressive disorders may relate to social inequalities and living standards. Thirty-three-year-old Nirmala Devi is one such victim.Being a girl child, she never received much love. Her brother was the proverbial apple of everyone’s eye.“I grew up in Velachery and my relatives never uttered one kind word. I could still cope up with all of it because my mother was supportive. But when she died in 2003, I was heartbroken,” said a teary-eyed Nirmala.
Throughout the grieving process, Nirmala had no emotional support. All she had was abuse from her relatives. Three months later, she was diagnosed with a mental health condition. “I used to walk three kilometres, aimlessly, on the road and hear voices that never existed. There was constant fear,” she said.
When her relatives realised she was suffering from a mental illness, they abandoned her at the Tambaram railway station. “I stayed there for two years without proper food or shelter. One day, a kind passerby called 1098 helpline and that’s how I reached The Banyan. It has been over a decade and I am still on medication. But I feel confident now,” she said. Nirmala got married three months back and the couple is looking for a job. “I know I can sail through this. At least there is somebody to talk to,” she said.
Unloved and sold
“I belong to a family of seven, which lived in Pallavaram. While everyone received so much love, I was hated for no reason. My parents used to hit me till I spat blood, utter harsh words often and it all ended on an extremely painful note when they sold me to a family in T Nagar for Rs 30,000,” said Kanaga.
She was a 13-year-old then. A victim of sexual slavery, Kanaga suffered for more than five years. “The owners used to send me out at 2 am to buy them liquor and if I didn’t, they used to afflict me with burn injuries using foreign objects,” she said, showing bruises on her legs and hands. “If I got angry, I used to slit my wrists because there was no way out,” she said, pointing to the 30-odd marks on her wrist.
“I cannot even begin to describe what happened when groups of men came home...it was a nightmare. A couple of times, I escaped and went back home. But within two hours, my father called the owners and they’d pick me up,” she said. One day, Kanaga escaped and this time she went to Kodambakkam railway station and lived on the platform for a year. In the mornings, she would beg on the streets and return to the platform at nights. Her mental health deteriorated. She was admitted to The Banyan 15 years ago and is now completely cured. Kanaga currently works as a guard at The Banyan.
Within four walls
KC Rathi’s issues began when she got married in 2003. Her husband used to verbally and physically abuse her, irrespective of the presence of guests.“Domestic abuse had a devastating impact on me. My life took a 360-degree-turn when he got a woman home one day and said he would be with her from then on and that I have to be his maid catering to the couple’s needs,” said Rathi, who was then 23 years old.By then Rathi already had a two-year-old daughter. “We lived in a single room and one of the worst nights was when he got the woman home. They were sleeping on the floor, and me and my child on the bed. I could not even switch on the light to feed the child,” she recalled.
Rathi then left to go back to her parents’ house and filed for divorce when her daughter was 10 years old. “My husband demanded the custody of the child and the fear of losing her pushed me into mental illness. I used to hold on to her all day, yell at people for no reason, have splitting headaches and cry inconsolably,” said Rathi. Due to lack of funds, Rathi avoided medical help for a long time and finally started medication in 2015. With the support of her parents, she recovered quickly. “Now, I am a happy single mother and my daughter, who is in class 10, is my best friend,” she said.
Superstitious beliefs
Most people in India go untreated for substance abuse problems, severe depression and psychotic disorders. Sometimes, they turn to gods for treatment. That’s what happened to 49-year-old Nirmala Vedaprakash.“At the age of 18, I suffered from a mental illness. No incident had driven me to it, it was purely biological. I wanted to commit suicide and inflict self-harm,” said Nirmala.
When she confided in her father, he took her to a temple. When there were no signs of improvement, he left her in a dargah in Nellore for six months. “My hands and legs were chained to a pillar under the open sky. The religious heads used to beat me up every morning and evening, thinking that would ‘treat’ the illness. But it only got worse,” she said and added, “A group of men used to give me a bath and I was extremely uncomfortable with all the rituals there. I even tried to commit suicide.”Finally, after six months when her father realised that the ‘treatment’ did not work, he took her to a hospital. Even after a decade, she is still under medication. But, she tells us that she’s almost cured.
*The interviewees did not wish to reveal details of their mental illnesses