CHENNAI: Human relationships are infinitely complex and tricky to manage and hence they need immense patience,understanding, acceptance, acknowledgement and engagement. There is a well-known saying that goes ‘We see things not as they are but as we are’. While our physical eyes see everything and everyone the same way, it is actually the thoughts and feelings that accompany the act of seeing which form an impression in the mind about what we are seeing. So, if our feelings are light and pure, we feel the same way about everything we see. On the other hand, if we are in a negative frame of mind we might perceive things negatively.
It’s a known fact that when we easily develop bad feelings or negative attitudes towards others, we see and keep thinking about their faults. In fact, most of us are well experienced in this, aren’t we? The simplest thing to get out of this is, we only need to think about the things that we like in that person, and soon our feelings would start changing. In short, focussing our mind on positive qualities automatically frees us from negativity.
Most people are caught up in their own lives and their problems which, to them, are big issues. But if we look at the larger picture, we realise that what we expend so much of our time and energy on is really a trifle in the journey of our life. And even more insignificant in relation to the events unfolding on the huge stage of the world, or the universe.
For example, take the case of a child who has been left with his/her grand parents by his/her mother for a couple of days. Now, if he/she keeps on thinking that how his/her mother left him/her alone and how she no longer loves him/her, then he/she would start feeling that a big vacuum has been created in his/her life and this may make him/her feel sad, lonely, weak and miserable. However, in reality all these feelings are a creation of his/her own thinking. So, instead of thinking everything in a negative manner, if he/she adopts an unlimited attitude and looks at the larger picture, he/she won’t be shaken by such an event. For, he/she would realise that everyone has to be independent one day and no human is going to be with us forever. He/she would also realise that there are thousands of children whose parents are working and they have to stay alone without any choice. Such positive thinking changes our consciousness from a limited one to an unlimited one.
Remember, it is up to us whether to have a universal attitude towards everything or a narrow attitude to make our life miserable. It is up to us as to how we take the little inconveniences we face in daily life or the problems that crop up in relationships. We can either keep thinking about them and make them into big issues only to end up feeling burdened, frustrated, angry or depressed, or see them in the right perspective and deal with them in the best way we can, without their affecting our state of mind in any way. Such an attitude helps us remain stable in the face of all the challenges that life brings our way. It also helps others around us as it enables us to come out of self-centred or selfish ways of thinking and to think of the universal good. This influences our behaviour and helps us build good relationships.
One with such an outlook becomes a good team worker who is able to adjust to the nature of others and work with all kinds or people. Such a person will also appreciate the good qualities of others and learn from them. He /she would be free of jealousy and be able to hear praise of others and take advice and criticism in the right spirit without getting upset. Because such a person is able to deal with all kinds of situations with a stable mind, he/she would be trusted with responsibility and be a source of strength for others.
And since he/she is never caught up in small issues and always looks at the big picture, others would also have faith in his impartial judgment. Such a person would be unifying figure in any group or organisation and will not fall into the trap of forming or aligning with divisive cliques or groups. Such are the wonderful benefits of bringing about a simple change in our consciousness. Now, it is up to us, whether to change for our own good or be confused, unhappy and depressed.