The date was set. Cards were printed. Guests were informed. The venue, caterers and decorators were booked. But, what’s an Indian wedding without some drama? This year, the novel coronavirus greeted many a to-be-wed couple with unexpected gifts — a lockdown, uncertainty and quarantine. RK Srividya speaks to five couples, who found their unique ways to say ‘I do’ amid all the pandemic pain.
VIRTUAL VIZHA IN A VILLAGE
Belonging to a family of Periyar followers, 26-year-old Venba from Thanjavur never had a grand function on the cards. She only wished for the elders in the family to be present at her wedding. But the virus forced her to settle for virtual blessings.
“All our special invitees were stuck in various places due to the lockdown. Even my uncle, who conducted our home wedding on April 26, blessed us through live-streaming from Chennai,” Venba shares.
Like every self-respecting wedding, as introduced by Periyar, this ceremony too was a simple one, albeit with a modern touch, “A day before the Suyamariyadhai Thirumanam (self-respect marriage), we had to check for technical and signal issues in using the Zoom application, as my house is in the interiors of the town. We exchanged rings, garlands and took our vows in the presence of 30 guests. The event was wrapped up in less than an hour and food was served at home for some 40 people in the locality,” says Chandrapandian, her husband. Keeping the risk of infection in mind, the couple voluntarily quarantined themselves at their Puducherry house for 14 days.
NEIGHBOURHOOD WEDDING
On March 30, in the hushed streets of Kilpauk, 30-year-old Ambika Uma Mahesh’s home was filled with musical cacophony. The rustle of silk saris perfectly matched the mela thalam (mridangam beats), which echoed in the neighbourhood, making curious neighbours grab a glimpse of Ambika’s D-day.
Glossy invitations, banquet hall bookings in Hyatt and a honeymoon trip to Europe — Ambika’s family members had left no stone unturned to make her dream wedding come true.
But, the coronavirus-induced lockdown offered them just a week to rejig their plan and shift the venue to their six-decade-old ancestral house, Mani Mandapam. “Initially, I was upset that all our elaborate plans had to be trimmed. But, when a decision was made to conduct the ceremony on the planned date at Mani Mandapam, I felt blessed as many of my ancestors had their wedding at the same venue,” shares Ambika.
Despite limited access to and supply of essentials during the unprecedented crisis, Ambika’s kith and kin stepped up to ensure it was a memorable, intimate affair.
When her mehendi artiste backed out fearing infection, Ambika’s sisters stayed up all night to adorn her hands with bridal designs.
The rest of the family decked up the venue. “I woke up to their surprising efforts, which left me with happy tears. My cousins volunteered to make the 21 seer thattu and ready the groom’s umbrella. With all their support, the wedding, which was conducted as per Arcot Mudhaliar tradition, turned out to be a funfilled one. While around 50 people attended the function, others in our close circle watched us through live-streaming,” Ambika recalls.
Getting married in a lockdown was no less than being part of a thriller movie for this spirited bride.
“In a way, the ceremony was very exciting as it had to be hushed up (despite having got the permission) and rushed before the day began. The ceremony began at 5 am and was completed by 10 am. The pandemic made me realise that marriages are indeed a miracle,” she shares.
What was initially planned as a grand gala wedding turned out to be a five-hour minimalist affair, but a memorable one.
SAFETY AS IMPORTANT AS BONDS
Entering wedlock in the absence of his two brothers was unimaginable for Coimbatore-based 29-year-old Prakash. But, in the last six months, if we’ve learned anything it’s that when man proposes, Coronavirus disposes.
“There was no way for them to come from other states to Coimbatore on June 3. So, we had to go ahead with the plans and conduct the ceremony in a simple and safe manner. My maternal brothers took up the responsibility of performing the important rituals on behalf of my two brothers,” he says.
Prakash and his then-fiancee Elamathi Parthasarathy decided to not change the wedding venue. “It was practically not possible to maintain social distancing at home. So, we chose to conduct the function with minimum guests in a small mandapam. All attendees (around 45 people) were given sanitisers and masks as welcome gifts. The wedding expenditure, which was expected to be around Rs 10-Rs 11 lakh, was brought down to Rs 70,000 due to a massive cut-down on the guest list and the celebrations,” says Elamathi.
A nail artist, Elamathi wanted to postpone her wedding when she didn’t have the tools to make her own nails for her special day.
“When I realised that my nail art essentials were in my hostel in Bengaluru, I got very anxious. All my friends, who got married, had their nail art done by me,” she shares. But postponement was not a choice, so, Elamathi ordered a complete set of nail art materials online.
“I heaved a sigh of relief only when I got them delivered,” she laughs. With only 50 guests allowed to attend, in June, the families came up with a plan.
“We have many relatives and friends. We managed to bring two batches of guests to the marriage hall — one for breakfast and the other for lunch — without any clash. The mandapam authorities were keeping a close watch on people to ensure that social distancing norms were being followed. They also did a regular head-count. But the new rules of mandatory check at the entrance had the guests confused since they also had to pose for photographs at the same time; so they didn’t know which way to look,” she elaborates.
Waste reduction was also one of Elamathi’s priorities.
“All the guests were given food packets to reduce activity in the hall. Our friends ensured the food was brought in a safe manner from the caterers. They also made sure that the waste generated within those few hours was segregated and cleared in time,” she emphasises.
While all’s well that end’s well, Elamathi and her family had to compromise on one ritual that they were looking forward to — mapillai azhaipu (welcoming the groom). And keeping the norms in mind, they conducted an hour-long nalangu function at their Coimbatore house, ensuring it had minimal attendance.
SMALL ALBUM, MANY MEMORIES
Sometime in February, Namakkal-based 26-year-old N Kiruthika was excitedly shopping for her D-day — on May 24. But just like surprises, shocks too come unannounced.
Clueless about when the corona crisis would end, her parents cancelled the venue booking.
We had to wait for a month to get back the initial payment of about Rs 60,000. Sadly, we could not get the token advance paid for musical arrangements and decorations,” she rues. While the loss did fluster her, on the bright side, the groom’s family suggested having a home-ceremony.
“We had printed invitations for the function. The wedding was conducted at home with just 30-40 people. Most of our relatives and friends were upset, but we made them understand the gravity of the pandemic situation. Later, we tried to cheer them up by sharing our wedding photos,” says Kiruthika, whose parents also got married in the same house three decades ago, as per Kongu tradition.
Taking stock of the situation, much to her relief, the videographers agreed to cut down the cost as the album size shrunk, and the pre-wedding shoot was done on the home terrace.
But now with Unlock 4.0, and the country sprinting back to normalcy, Kiruthika’s parents plan to organise a reception or at least host a grand feast for friends and extended family.
A BLESSING IN DISGUISE
For 26-year-old banker R Amritha* from Tiruchy, whose wedding was to be held in the last week of April, “the lockdown was a blessing in disguise”.
She says, “My wedding was arranged in a short span, and I was worried about not getting the time to know my fiancé and his family members. Then, the lockdown happened. When my wedding date got postponed, some of my relatives considered it as a bad omen. However, I got a chance to interact with my in-laws.”
When the restrictions were eased in the first week of July, Amritha’s parents organised an engagement ceremony on their home terrace with a dozen guests in attendance.
“Initially, we thought of skipping the engagement, considering the uncertain situation. Even when the engagement date was fixed, we were not sure if the groom would be able to make it to Chennai. Fortunately, his application for e-pass was accepted at the last moment,” narrates Amritha, who tied the knot on August 28.
*(Name changed)