CHENNAI : Most of us love to have fine food. Now, restaurants with a wide variety of cuisine choices are aplenty. But how many are aware of the dining etiquette? No, it’s not just about how to use the fork and knife properly. It’s beyond the cutlery placed on the table. There are some ettiquette basics one often overlooks. Following the do’s and don’ts can make the dining experience more fun and jovial, and leave a positive impression on others too. Your manners at the table are secret codes sent to others on how we behave in life. “Etiquette is important for personality development. If one starts the practice right from a young age, over the years, it’ll get finetuned,” says Elizabeth Joseph Basil, founder of Regal Skills Training and Etiquette in Thiruvananthapuram.
“Everything will come naturally then, compared to learning the whole thing all at once when one reaches their 20s. People will be able to learn it of course, but they might have to exert so much and forget to enjoy the exquisite dishes and the dining experience. At times, it may turn pretentious as well.” According to her, though educational institutions are aware of table manners, not many are willing to conduct etiquette classes. “It’s not something that comes to you naturally. Etiquette has to be taught. However, many institutions aren’t interested. They cite lack of time as the reason and the majority doesn’t want to pay money to learn how to behave,” she adds.
At a restaurant, people come in the finest of dresses. The moment they start ordering, one can learn a lot about the diners. Upon entering, many keep their bags and phones on the table. According to etiquette trainers, this behaviour is not ideal. “Tables are only meant for the utensils and the necessary cutleries. Instead, keep the personal belongings on the side of the seats,” says Elizabeth. Also checking the phone while having food among company is considered a bad habit. If it’s urgent, politely excuse yourself before checking the device. Never forget that people serving dishes at a restaurant are employees doing their jobs, and they need to be addressed with respect. “Say ‘excuse me’ while calling a server, instead of saying ‘shoo’, snapping fingers or clapping hands. Nothing is more demeaning than these gestures,” says Elizabeth. While raising concerns about the service, hospitality, or food in general, it is considered impolite to express the opinion publicly or in a rude manner, she reminds.
Table manners
When it comes to dining in a formal setting or casual events, understanding the cutlery etiquette is essential. Start with the utensils placed farthest from the plate for the first course and progress inward as each course arrives. Malayalis love eating their food using their hands, and many believe dishes taste great when felt first with the fingers. “If you prefer to eat with your hands, of course, go ahead. There’s no need to look down on those who prefer that. And if one prefers to use cutlery, do so,” says Elizabeth. However, she says, practising cutlery at home can come of use, especially when going to places that consider touching food inappropriate. There are two ways to hold the cutlery.
As per the classic European way, the fork has to be on the left hand and the knife on the right. In the American way, it’s interchangeable. “When you want to leave the table in between, keep the cutlery on the plate like an inverted V. After finishing the meal, close them together and keep it to one side, ” informs Elizabeth. The cloth napkin on the table has to be placed on the lap. This is to catch any food that falls from the plate. “Never tuck it to your shirt or around the neck,” she warns. Another primary function of the napkin is to wipe food from the mouth.
“There’s a tendency among a lot of people to wipe all over the mouth. That’s not the correct way. Use the end of the napkins to slightly dab corners of the lips,” says Elizabeth. After finishing the meal, place the napkin on the table next to the plate. Another thing to remember is how to use a finger bowl. One should only dip the fingers. “Many tend to wash and scrub their hands with water. But you are supposed to only wet the tips to remove any stains left over from food. If there’s a piece of lemon, don’t squeeze it and rub it on the palms,” she says.
Dining right
If you are not dining alone, start eating only when the food is served to everyone on the table. However, this changes while having food from a buffet. In buffets, don’t take all the items to your plate. Instead, take rounds. “Never fill the plate too much. Also, while serving, take a small amount of the food, because you could always go back for seconds,” she says. Never speak while chewing. Talking while eating also applies to those who talk loudly in dining areas. Always ask for side plates to keep bones and other waste. There should be zero spills on the table. After finishing the meal, especially after having a non-vegetarian meal, it is normal for the meat to get stuck between the teeth. Some people take it out using a toothpick at the table. “Don’t do such activity in public. It’s always better to use a toothpick in the washroom. When using it at the table, make sure to cover the mouth with one hand,” she says. At the end of the day, dining has to be an enjoyable experience.