CHENNAI: When we think about kindness, we often imagine it as something we offer to others — a compliment to a stranger, a coffee to a coworker, a warm hug to a friend who’s going through tough times. But how often do we extend that same kindness to ourselves? With Kindness Week upon us and World Kindness Day today, it’s the perfect time to explore the concept of self-kindness in all its forms. Chennaiites offer a guide on practising self-kindness in a practical, relatable way, and just a little bit fun.
Mental kindness: Stop being your own worst critic
Ayesha Shankar, a kathak teacher, puts it perfectly: “I have an app that allows me to write sweet and kind notes to my future self that will resurface back to me when I am having a bad day. So every time I am having a breakdown or not feeling myself, I read my kind note and things immediately start to feel a little better. You have got to be there for yourself sometimes and not expect someone to always be by your side.”
We’ve all had those days when we’re hardest on ourselves — critiquing our every move and feeling like we should be doing more. This could stem from insecurities, external factors, or simply because your bad day has been due for a while now. But true mental kindness starts with the way we talk to ourselves.
Tip: Next time you catch yourself in a negative thought spiral, imagine how you’d comfort a friend in that situation. It makes it easier to cut yourself some slack.
Physical kindness: Listen to your body, it’s got things to say
Being kind to your body isn’t all about tough workouts or strict routines. Sometimes it’s as simple as asking, “What do I feel like today?” For some, it might be waking up at 5 am and reading the newspaper, while others might just need some ice cream for breakfast.
Inaaya S, shares her experience saying, “I used to push myself into hitting the gym even when I knew I was exhausted and worn out. Now, I let myself take it slow if I’m not feeling up for it. It feels like I’m finally working with my body, not against it.”
Tip: Try tuning in each morning and asking yourself how you feel. Some days call for a walk, others for a full workout — or maybe just a little extra sleep. It’s all about the balance.
Kindness to pets: The silent language of love
Pets have a magical way of communicating without saying a word. For Karthik Bagga, his pet journey started reluctantly, when his roommate adopted a puppy. At first, he wasn’t sure he was ready for the mess and commitment, but soon he found himself falling for the little furballs’ charms. “Every evening when I’m back home, she waits by my door with this cute look. It’s like she’s speaking to me with those big puppy eyes,” he laughs.
Karthik says he realised that kindness isn’t always about doing grand gestures — it can be as simple as sitting on the floor with his dog, letting her head rest on his lap, and feeling that quiet, wordless connection. “She’s my free therapy now that I cherish and look forward to after a long day,” he says.
Tip: Even if you don’t have a pet, try spending time with a friend’s pet or visiting a shelter. It’s amazing how much joy pets can bring just by being. They remind us that kindness can be as simple as a few belly rubs.
Work-life kindness: Know when to close the laptop and breathe
In a culture that glorifies “the hustle,” kindness sometimes means closing your laptop at 6 p.m. and not feeling guilty about it. Avisha Rai, who works in tech, shares, “I used to think being reachable all the time made me a good employee. But it just made me tired. Now, I set a cutoff time, and I don’t check emails past that. I have no regrets honestly, because you’re not proving anything by tiring yourself out.”
Tip: Try setting one small boundary, like not checking emails after work or taking a real lunch break away from your desk. Little boundaries can make a big difference in how refreshed you feel.
Social kindness: The superpower of saying no without the guilt
Being socially kind doesn’t mean saying yes to every event or keeping in touch with everyone. Rohan R, a high school student, found relief when he stopped feeling guilty about skipping social events. “I used to go out every weekend because of FOMO. Now, I choose to prioritise my energy and only say yes when I really feel up for it,” he explains. His friend, Akshar Jain, agrees: “We cancel on each other when one of us isn’t feeling it, and no one takes it personally. It’s important to understand each other’s social limits.”
Tip: Look at your social circle and focus on the connections that bring you joy. It’s okay to prioritise relationships that feel genuine, leaving room for the ones that really matter.
Kindness Week is a good reminder that this isn’t just something we give to others — it’s also something we can give to ourselves. Being kind to yourself isn’t about spa days and yoga poses or making big changes overnight. It’s about knowing your worth, setting limits, and never apologising for putting yourself first.
Real kindness is letting go of guilt, saying no when you mean it, and knowing that sometimes, the best gift you can give others is a happier, stronger you. Don’t just save the self-love for these seven days and then go back to ignoring your own feelings like it’s a forgotten email. And definitely, don’t just use it for your Instagram caption — make it a habit, not a trend.