Valliamma was never one to shy away from supporting her daughter P Srija, a trans woman. Instead, she moved forward with her daughter, taking the road of acceptance and growth. “Initially, I had a fear of what everyone would say but then I knew. Ennaku nee than thevai, mattavangal thevai illai (I don’t want anyone else but you),” Valliamma from Thoothukudi says about her daughter.
This grit is the theme of Amma’s Pride, a 20-minute documentary that takes viewers through the struggles of a trans woman navigating society’s deep-seated prejudices. The film screened at Alliance Francaise Madras, showcased the bond between the incomparable mother-daughter duo.
After her education came to an abrupt end, Srija and her longtime friend-turned-partner, B Arun Kumar, decided to start a life together. Their love defied social norms, and their marriage — the first legal one in Tamil Nadu between a trans woman and a cisgender man — became a battle against bureaucracy, prejudice, and even their own families. “It was only after our marriage that people realised we were a queer couple,” says Arun. “They assumed we were just friends. Many people support the trans community in theory, but when it comes to their own families, acceptance disappears.”
Despite legal recognition, their battles didn’t end. The couple faced relentless scrutiny — the media sensationalised their relationship, often portraying their love as a spectacle. Arun’s mother opposed the marriage, pressuring him for a separation. Verbal abuse, emotional manipulation, and social ostracisation followed.
An important story
For decades mainstream media has portrayed trans people as comic relief or symbols of tragedy. But as conversations around gender are evolving, there are more spaces to tell stories that centre real experiences, narratives that people can own. Hence, director Shiva Krish wanted to shift the narrative from controversy to compassion. “I first heard about Srija’s marriage registration in 2019. I was in Chennai and didn’t know much about her at the time,” he says. “The media coverage was insensitive, and I wanted to tell her story differently. When I spoke to her, I realised that her mother’s unwavering support was a story that had never been told. That became my focus.”
Bullying and harassment often start in schools. If teachers don’t understand gender identity, they can’t create a safe learning environment for trans students.
Naveen, volunteer, Nirangal
Systemic change is essential. Siva, co-founder of Nirangal, joined the conversation and shared that it is important to shift narratives. Siva says, “We engage with children in schools, talking about gender in an age-appropriate way. For those above 18, we introduce conversations about sexuality. We also work with parents and offer them access to mental health professionals and legal experts. It is not a disease to be cured. We’ve seen acceptance grow through these efforts.”
For Srija, her marriage was never just about love — it was about paving the way for others like her. “The officials eventually arranged for us to marry under the Hindu Marriage Act. But many of my friends have taken their own lives because of the opportunities they were denied. Love and marriage are still out of reach for many trans people. Not everyone has the strength to fight these legal battles. So, I wanted to fight for them.”
The couple still continue to fight their battles, but love and acceptance like that of Valliamma fuels their lives.